Sunday, September 02, 2007

How did you manage to break it so fast?

These two guys come up with a boombox. It looks beat to death with a stick and hung out to dry. They say it eats tapes.

I open it up and see the remains of Enrique Iglesias' career hanging off a spool like last night's hooker's bra off a chair back.

Then I look at the receipt. They allegedly bought it 17 minutes ago. Well, OK. Something is rotten in the state of Walton.

They don't speak any English - and my Spanish cuts out after “Donde es la caja?” It is certainly not up to this. I call for help.

"Did they buy this? If they did, how did they manage to lose the box and the A\C adapter in fifteen minutes?"

Questions ensue. Rapid Spanish followed by head-shaking and pointing.

They still claim they bought it. The receipt says Register #15 - so we go over there. The cashier confirms the purchase.

Which leaves the question of the cord and box.

With four people standing around gesticulating and hollering in English, Spanish and Spanglish - they finally get it. “La caja. Si. Es en el coche.” Or close enough.

Apparently they took it right outside to try out and managed to break the first tape they put in by trying to force the lid open without hitting OPEN. I could see scratches from a screwdriver.

*sigh*

Buttons mashed. Defective. "Firma por favor senor." "Recibe treinta y seis y su cambio. Gracias y buenas noches."

EDITED: This post was emailed in via my phone. I'm editing to add my usual formatting, fix some typos and make one or two sentences more clear. I also had to do do some work because Blogger inserts line breaks in odd places when you post via email. Anyone know how to get around this? And for the record, the boombox had instructions in English, Spanish and French!

11 comments:

grundes said...

This reminds me a story I've read somewhere about a guy who used a hammer to make sure the RJ-45 (network) connector in the dorm room fits into the modem socket of his daughters laptop computer. Certainly it didn't want to go in, but there's no problem a hammer can't solve!

Paul said...

You make jimmying something open with a screwdriver sound like a bad thing!

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

It's so great to know you can return things because you ruined them due to your own stupidity!

At least they didn't wait until 91 dayslater to return it! :O

Anonymous said...

Even if they bought it 30 seconds ago, they mishandled it and broke it themselves. They should not have been able to return it.

Library Rat said...

Stupidity on this level, and yes, not speaking the lingua franca counts, should be fatal. You should have a state issued, sawed-off 12ga to execute these people with.

And because I feel like being a dick tonight...

Were their shoes still wet?

texas dave said...

So, library rat, does your dickness (dickitude?) always manifest itself with racial slurs, or do you also engage in gay-bashing, misogyny, and other antisocial behavior?

Anonymous said...

my 2 cents~ If you're living in this country, SPEAK ENGLISH!!! If you're here illegally, they should send your butt back!

iaimtooffend said...

Did the appliance have instructions in Spanish? I bet it did. Even if it didn't, it's no excuse.

TX Dave...what racial slur? People need to stop being so gd pc minded and get the fuck over themselves. Waaaah! Go cry in someone else's sandbox. "Lingua franca" is something BBC has said several times before.

Anonymous said...

iaimtooffend - TXDave was talking to Library Rat, who made a comment about shoes being wet and himself being a dick.

I think the whole point of the post was uhm.. the fact people were that stupid, not their race.

kdl said...

Really, stupidity is so imbedded in the human DNA, it would be impossible to sort it out from the genetic minutiae that encodes our DNA and creates "race."

That being said: if you need to read an instruction manual for a "boom box"...
If you need to use a screw driver to remove an Enrique/Julius (same difference) CASSETTE from said "boom box"...
If you rely on "no hablo engles" as a way to get by the "man"...
...you might just be retarded. And I don't mean that in the PC way.

Library Rat said...

Texas Dave-

My dickitude (good word, thanks) is usually reserved for stupid people, people with an over developed sense of entitlement, pro-lifers, gon control freaks, Jesus freaks, and illegal aliens.

I was just figuring with A) Florida, B) no comprehension of English, and C) no familiarity with electronic devices we take for granted, that the odds are fairly good these guys don't belong here.

Still, I am fairly anti-social...