Friday, September 28, 2007

Five Finger Fridays: V.9.0

Obviously whoever took the first few packs of Alli back a few weeks ago needs a refill, because an empty pack washed up Saturday. $62.88 for an Alli refill pack. Welcome to the House of Wal. How may we stain your drawers tonight?

Because some people are just joining the fun, Five Finger Fridays are a list of the empty packages, found tags and otherwise presumed stolen items turned in to Customer Service. Just Customer Service. There is another ten-gallon storage bin in the store's Claims area that is filled EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT. Welcome to the House of Wal. Please help yourself.

So spray on a few puffs of your finest Liz Arden knock-off, knock back another few swigs of the Natty Light, grab some Funyuns for the road and clean out yo' diaper bag for the loot! It's another edition of Five Finger Friday ya'll!

-- obviously, a refill package of Alli, ringing in at $62.88
-- most of a pack of Spiderman band-aids (the rest I added to our first-aid kid, because customers always ask for a band-aid and they were probably going into the trash anyway)
-- a Sanyo phone battery
-- L'Oreal Volume Shocking mascara
-- a 1MBGB Fujifilm memory card (That's $22.88 down the tubes because Wal-Mart doesn't believe in keeping stuff locked up anymore because they don't want customers to "wait" for someone to get there to unlock the cases. The only things that are locked up are the video games, game systems and some other high-end stuff.)
-- a double feature "Lake Placid" and "Python" DVD (uh, I'm more scared of you for stealling this crap than I am of the crap you stole!)
-- an iPod nano case. (If you can afford an iPod nano, why you got to steal?)
-- a Los Angeles Azules "Para Ti ... Nuestra Historia" CD
-- a Motorola cell phone car charger
-- a Duplicolor Scratch Fix 2 in 1 Premium Touch-Up Repair Kit
-- a Bulldog-brand snap hook
-- a tattoo-sleeve shirt that's being sold as part of our Halloween costumes
-- Digital Concepts digital camera - another $84.88+tax down the tubes
-- an Armitron watch
--a $17.74 Disney watch with a leather wrist strap
-- Ozark Trail (the Wal-Mart outdoors brand) glow sticks
-- some Cover Girl "Skin Clean" make-up (Good thing your skin is clean. Because your conscience sure as hell isn't!)
-- kiddie scissors. WITH RUBBER ENDS SO A CHILD DOES NOT CUT HIMSELF. IF YOU NEED SCHOOL SUPPLIES YOU NEED TO REGISTER WITH SOME CHARITY. DAMN. This is just shameful. It is beyond shameful. I hope the spawn of your diseased loins grows up, moves away, never speaks to you again, then returns to put you in an old folks home where they handcuff you to the bed and you die old, alone and forgotten by everyone you ever knew. While staring at your gallstones in a jar on your bedside table. Because no one ever brings you flowers. Stealing school supplies is just plain wrong. Moving on.
-- a Motorola bluetooth headset (another $38.74+tax down the tubes)
-- Tylenol PM
-- Extra Strength Tylenol (no, I didn't take it, although I wished I had a few pills!)
-- "The Monster Squad" DVD
-- a pack of Fing'rs nail art (Seriously, who knew nail art was going to get all fancy and start dropping the "e"? C'mon. Get real.)
-- a box of Elizabeth Arden Obsession perfume
-- a pair of Bob Allen shotgunner gloves (do they just steal because they want to?)
-- a Linksys Network Adapter (another $59.74+tax, stolen right out of the box because they're sitting right out on the shelf.)

As a special bonus, one of the maintenance ladies found a pack of tags in the family restroom at the rear of the store. It looks like someone went in with a nice selection of items, ranging in size from 3T up to 6 Girls (plus a pair of No Boundaries earrings) and layered them on their baby, then just as calmly walked out the bathroom and right on out the door with $31.41 in toddler & girls clothes that I'm sure are going to come back tomorrow, sans tags and the claim "Oh, we got these as gifts."

21 comments:

LKBM said...

'a 1MB Fujifilm memory card'

Surely you mean 1GB. 1MB wouldn't get you very far, unless this is something completely different from what I'm thinking. :-)

Anonymous said...

Does Walmart even have store security? Is the problem that they're incompetent, or understaffed, or what?

Dagny said...

Billy Maze Hays here to say the Bulldog-brand snap hook y'all stole is crap, because it's not my Hercules hook with the added bonus tub of Oxiclean.

FARfetched said...

Good idea, sticking the Spidey band-aids in the first-aid kit. At least you know they'll stick. [moving right along...]

As far as the nano case does, don't you figure they lifted an unattended nano too?

Anonymous said...

Also, remember, "Five Finger Fridays" is just the tip of the iceburg, it all those who left the package material in the WallyWorld, and it doesn't include employee theft either.

Kristi said...

It's kinda pathetic to imagine a mother layering clothes on her baby because she can't afford them. Kids' clothes *are* hella expensive.

Anonymous said...

Why do you condemn the person who stole school supplies more than all the rest? It isn't logical. It's sad if someone truly couldn't afford it and had to steal it. I think you just have major 'mommy' issues. At least school supplies are needed, unlike most of the other crap.

Perhaps the parent(s) was recntly laid off and is too embarrassed to admit they need help with school supplies. Who appointed you judge of what's worse to steal? Maybe the parent wants to spare the child the embarrassment of submiting their name for a child in need program. Perhaps the parent took a foolish risk to spare their child humiliation & ridicule from other kids for being 'poor'. Do you ever think of that side of the picture?

Maybe someone should will the same bad karma on you. Perhaps to be a washed-up, in his mid to late thirties nobody who is bitter and alone, with only his online 'fans' to care about & support him, stuck in a dead end job with no boy toy to call his own.

Oh wait. You already are all of those things. Nice you think you're so above a parent who feels the need to steal school supplies. You really are a judgemental, cold, heartless fool. Does Wal-Mart sell compassion?

(Let's see how quickly you delete this.)

Amber said...

Oh come on, Lake Placid is a classic! Where else can you see Betty "Rose Nylund" White say, "Why, thank you Officer F***meat!"

Kasia said...

I'm guessing the nano case was stolen to sell to someone with a nano. After all, no matter how cheaply they resell it, it's still a 100% profit.

And I don't know that I think it's better or worse to steal any of the stuff on that list. Theft is theft. And while school supplies are probably higher on the grand importance list of life than a nano case or an Alli refill, they're not exactly crucial. It isn't stealing a loaf of bread to feed your starving children.

I actually thought the child safety scissors were such a random, odd item to steal that they were probably lifted by some tweens or teens who were out to shoplift for kicks.

grundes said...

"Python" as in "Monty Python"?

amused said...

'one of the maintenance ladies found a pack of tags in the family restroom at the rear of the store. It looks like someone went in with a nice selection of items, ranging in size from 3T up to 6 Girls (plus a pair of No Boundaries earrings) and layered them on their baby, then just as calmly walked out the bathroom and right on out the door with $31.41 in toddler & girls clothes that I'm sure are going to come back tomorrow, sans tags and the claim "Oh, we got these as gifts.""

this is what I thought the stolen scissors were for..to clip the tags off the clothes....
I never thought people would layer clothes on a baby but, then I remembered these are the wallly
mind set here.

Anonymous said...

Hey BtC Blogger Person, check out this house of wal article, you'll probably enjoy it:

http://www.alternet.org/story/63565/?page=entire

Anonymous said...

The iPod and laptop cases used to get emptied every couple weeks at my Walmart. A couple weeks ago they hit one of the digital camera cases. This only happens overnight when there is only one person in that corner of the store.

After all the press about walmart's lack of security my store only shrunk out $50k more in electronics than last year.

Anonymous said...

Last week, I found an opened package that previously contained ground beef. Why someone would steal that is completely beyond me.

DolfanDad said...

hey anon, are you so offended by bbc's comments about the school supplies because you steal school supplies? Give me your address and I'll give you some money so you don't have to steal anymore! Stop taking everything so personally. My gosh this isn't Les Miserables. Its freakin wal-mart in 2007!

Jessica said...

To Anon at 1:08,
He IS being judgmental because *gasp!* it's his blog and he's allowed. What's your excuse for coming in here and flaming (pun intended) the Fabulous One about his opinion?
You have a right to yours as well, but I have a sneaking suspicion you're exaggerating said opinion just to try and get us up in arms. At least the Fabulous One makes us laugh when he does it.

And no, he wont delete it. It's more fun to leave it right where it's at for all to see.

The NOT psycho-bitch Jess

Library Rat said...

Ok, I'll admit it. I would be tempted to take the Monster Squad DVD. I haven't seen that movie since I was a kid.

Then again, I'd probably just rent it and copy it.

Ihar Filipau said...

"[...] Wal-Mart doesn't believe in keeping stuff locked up anymore because they don't want customers to "wait" for someone to get there to unlock the cases."

In the context you are of course right.

But I'm precisely buyer who wouldn't buy stuff I can't check by myself.

It's not that I'm lazy to call the "someone", but usually you get a person with expression on her/his face telling you that he'd rather ... do something else but waiting for you to the check the locked stuff. Because for her/him it takes only 15 seconds to unlock and lock stuff - but to me it takes probably 5-10 minutes to check what I want.

IOW, I think Wall*Mart doesn't lock stuff because (among other things) they do not want customers to face annoyed personnel.

Anonymous said...

dolfandad...Your comment is DUMB and illogical...who said anon was personally offended? BBC's 'outrage' is dumb. He HAS mommy issues...MANY. Do you lick BBC's ass clean during his potty room breaks at WM? ('The House of Wall' as BBC TOO often refers to it as.)

BBC...Don't you think that a child or baby layered in clothes in FLORIDA would be rather obvious and look quite odd? Isn't it more logical that the clothes were stuffed in a bag and taken out of the store, not layered on someone?

To people who are outraged, offended, whatever by those who don't agree with BBC 1,000% and line up to lick his anus, thatis the chance you take with blogging. Not everyone will love you, it's a given. Even die-hard fans won't love every post. Get over yourselves, get a life and crawl out of BBC's old, pathetic and Wal-Mart only employed ass. How pathetic to get your feathers ruffled over someone not responding in favor to a blog you like.

Anonymous said...

we all realize we aren't going to love BBC one hundred percent all the time, and that there will be people who don't like him at all... and that his hardcore fans will be offended by that.

But there's no need for this level of uninvited (and quite frankly after reading every post, positive and negative - UNDESERVED) hostility from EITHER side of the bench.

I think you have some genuine anger issues, my friend. Please don't let them continue to go unchecked.

Anonymous said...

Five bucks says that the person who stole the iPod nano case thought they were actually stealing an iPod.