Thursday, September 27, 2007

Blender? I don't know her

"It's Tuesday. Dawn must be in trouble. Wait. That isn't right." It's Thursday. It's time for another blender story. That's better.

Loooooook. You really need to think about trying to run game multiple times AT THE SAME STORE. I mean, your stories are just not straight enough to fool a fifth grader. Much less me.

Sound. Check.

Costumes. Ladies. I know it is hot in Florida in the summertime. I also know that some of you are rightfully proud that you have a stash tucked away in the Banco de Mammary, and for whatever reason feel it is not necessary to make use of a fee-free PLAYTEX-backed bra savings account. HOWEVER, if you are going to go cleavage commando, please, please, pleeeeeeeze do not wear such thin dresses. You're gonna put an eye out with those sharp pointy things on the front of your chest. Don't nobody need to be getting all Tara Reid up in the Wal-Mart.

Makeup. Check.

ROLL TAPE:

This girl and her brother came up with a blender they claim they bought five days ago. They said they "hadn't used it" because the screw thingy to hold the blade and the cup together was missing. Yeah. And I'm in line to inherit the throne of Britain. There was orange pulp on the inside of the glass canister. Plus it smelled like the back door at a Minute Maid plant.

She wants another blender. Shocker. I'm sure this one is broken because they're trying to make orange juice in it - they're just too cheap to buy a juicer. Whatever. It isn't my merchandise. I just return the crap. I don't get paid to dispense advice to the stupid people who buy it. Not that they would spend money on something to do the job properly when the can keep buying, breaking and returning things that are cheaper but that won't work.

I start mashing buttons and then notice that on the receipt, the blender originally rang up as $19.84, was voided and re-rung as $13. And there's no clearance sticker on the blender. Any number of reasons this could of happened - but most likely, the blender was in the "wrong place." Or it was moved to the "wrong place" intentionally. If the difference is under $10, we not supposed to ask questions unless they want something completely outrageous.
It is still ringing up for the $19.84 - but she paid $13, so she gets $13 back. Brother Bear and Sister Bear wander off.

They come back about an hour later with another blender. Same model. I ask her if she checked if all the parts were in there. And I ring it up. Still ringing up for $19.84.

She wants it for $13. I refuse.

I ask her why she got the other blender for $13. She doesn't know. Okaaaaaaaay. I still don't really understand why she didn't know why she got the other one cheaper. She was muttering about how someone else bought it or something.

I was probably being overly bitchy - especially over $6. But I was just sick of the crap I get on a daily basis from stupid, entitled, scammers and horrible human beings in general. I was like "This blender is $19.84. It is ringing up at $19.84. I don't know why you got that blender at $13 - but that was five days ago. This is now. You need to pay the full price now because the blender is not on sale."

She doesn't like that. So I'm like "OK. I'll go check." I actually get out from behind the counter and walk my happy little self over to housewares on the off chance this blender is maybe, possibly, in some universe within the infinite wavelength of happenstance of possibly being somewhere on the space-time continuum on sale. Alas and alack, poor Hamilton Beach. I knew him Kenmore.

HELL NO!
Whole shelf of blenders for $13.84 in blue boxes. The blender I'm holding is in a white box. Three models over and a shelf up. Right under a sign for $19.84. I took the label and the other blender (the $13.84 one) and scooted right back up to Customer Service before a woman looking at shelf paper and making eyes in my direction could ask me questions.

"Ma'am. This blender is $19.84. This is the $13.84 blender. See, here are the LABELS FROM THE SHELF. Not. The. Same."

"Oh. Maybe I was confused." No. "Confusion" could possibly excuse the decision not to wear a bra. With underwire. "Scam" pretty much covers the blender decision.

Then she didn't even have enough money to pay for the $13.84 blender. She had exactly what I'd given her as a refund earlier and had to to send the brother back out to the car for another dollar. I mean, who comes into a store without a single dollar to their name?

5 comments:

Library Rat said...

I'd at least start pointing out the crap in the "unused" blender, perhaps even suggesting they wash the damned thing before taking it back.

comoprozac said...

This is hilarious. I noticed that you wanted the "Wire" on your Amazon list. Does that have anything to do with the no bra thing or just a coincidence?

Anonymous said...

I honestly did think that a DVD player I was buying was cheaper than it turned out to be: it was placed on the wrong place on the shelf. The cashier was nice about it but now I wonder if he thought I was trying to cheat them.

But then it wasn't like I was returning a player with food stuck in it.

Anonymous said...

So, it makes one wonder.. was the scammer the one who was out in the car, and was too lazy or didn't have the balls to come in and run the scam, so they sent their kids in?

Maybe they thought you'd do an even exchange, and not charge them the difference.

luckycanucky said...

"Dawn's in trouble. It must be Tuesday."

I was just listening to the soundtrack from "Once More With Feeling" as it happens. That line always gave me a giggle. As does your blog.

I was always running up to the tills with stickers and signs and flags to illustrate that customers often are too oblivious of reality when it comes to prices and styles, especially in clothes, and especially in a place like Walmart where styles and prices mingle on the same rack because nobody gives a feck about zoning it properly, nor has the time anyway. Some scammers, sure, but mostly just people too oblivious and in too much of a rush to notice they've grabbed something more expensive.