Wednesday, July 11, 2007

I don't know why I even came here

Cue Saturday afternoon, just about 4:30 p.m. The line at Customer Service is starting to back up because the afternoon recreational shoppers are coming in early to escape the heat. I'm returning a pile of children's clothes for a woman who bought stuff for her grandkids and it was all the wrong size.

In the midst of all this, a fat housewife type comes up and asks me "Can I get some help at the jewelry counter?" I tell her I can page for assistance, but that I can't leave Customer Service, especially because I have people waiting in line.

Her answer? "Well, they called 20 minutes ago and no one came. I want to buy something and no one will sell it to me. Is this how you operate your store?" My question is - "Why are you still here? Nothing we sell in jewelry is that nice or that special. Nothing.

"Ma'am, you can talk to the customer service supervisor on duty or I can call again for assistance."

And that opens up a tirade from her.

"I don't know why I even came here. My daughter told me this store was always dirty and disorganized. We always go to the other Wal-Mart and it is so much nicer and cleaner. Why is your store always dirty? Why can't I get help? That new Wal-Mart across town is a nice place to shop." Again, my question is - "Why are you here instead of there? Do you drive nails into your arm in your spare time? Is kidney dialysis your idea of a recreational sport?

To top it all off, she throws her hands up, looks at the line of people waiting on me to finish dealing with her so they can just return some more broken plastic crap and goes "I don't know why I even came here today."

I guess she expected something different from Wal-Mart, like maybe good service. I mean, really, this is the Wal-Mart. Don't get your hopes up.

But she sure as hell rolled by later with a packed buggy. I guess she got over it long enough to spend some money. Thus proving Wal-Mart's lowest common denominator marketing strategy of "Always Low Prices" to be a perfect draw.

I have said it before, and I will say it again - "If your Wal-Mart shopping experience is bad, don't come back. They're not going to change if you don't." But if you kick up a fuss, yell and scream for a manager and get a gift card - TO WAL-MART, MIND YOU - but still roll right out the dor with $200 worth of cheap plastic crap and Chinese poison in your food, who really won that argument?

Yeah, you sure "showed them who was boss," didn't you? You are gonna go brag about cursing out a Wal-mart manager at your church and your Dairy Queen and in your hair salon. All your friends are going to agree with you and say "Yes, girl, that store is a disgrace. I can't never get no help. Don't nobody speak no English."

Everybody down at Shenida's House of Style getting a weave or having their nails "did" is going to agree and you're all going to talk about how filthy the bathrooms are and how nasty the store is.

And on Saturday, you and your baby-daddy and your grandma and your auntie and your kids and your sister and your sister's kids and maybe your sister's lazy, good-for-nothing man are all going to pile into the car and come into Wal-Mart and spend some more money.

Who is winning?
You? Or Wal-Mart?


Anonymous said...

BB, you're in America now. Recognize!

"Buggies" are reserved for babies ie. "baby buggies. The proper term is "shopping cart." It's amazing that you've been in this country for so long, working in retail even, and STILL cling to your Indi/Brit identity. Let it go! You're in America now.

No one, and I mean NO ONE, has an "auntie". One might have an aunt, but such a family relationship is NEVER relevent. Drop the Hindi cup! You're in America now.

Don't assume that your racial innuendos concerning negros is appreciated. Don't assume for a moment that replacing Paki with 'weave' 'Shenidia' and "...nails did" endears blog readers closer to your bigotted, racist and ingnorant Inditrash character failures.

If you're not typical, EurAsianInditrash, you'll get over your imigrant cultural shortcomings and learn how to be a good American.

Get Visa renewals much?


Glen said...

Ya know, I never understood why people sit there and complain about the way a blogger writes. If you don't like it, don't read it. That simple.
Oh, and I hate to break it to you, but my little girl refers to both of her aunts as "auntie", and we're all well-educated Americans here.

The best part of your comment was ragging on our intrepid blogger for racial innuendos about "negros" (sic). What?!? Are you nuts? What decade are you from? What a jerk.

BBC, you just keep on calling them buggies and whatever else floats your boat.

Anonymous said...

There are Americans who call shopping carts buggies. It is not a term I use, but I hear it on a fairly regular basis.

Emily said...

Hey! Jess the bitch, if you don't like it don't read the blog. BBC did nothing wrong, your the bigot here. If your the example of a "Good American" I better get the hell out of here, and fast. I guarantee your just a stupid Troll who won't be back. Good Riddance ass.

Emily said...

Also, I say "Buggie" all the time, and "auntie" is a totally American word.

Simmo said...

wow, even blogs have trolls :P
I laugh irony when this post states: "If your experience is bad, don't come back." :D

Erewhon said...

I'm going to jump on the 'buggy' bandwagon. I live in TN and everyone here calls them Buggies. I don't know why. I'm originally from upstate NY, and we always called them shopping carts... I'm guessing it's a North/South thing.

CoderForChrist said...

To the troll at the top:

I'm not just American, I'm Southern. We say "buggies." IIRC, the author lives in Flordia. It's not really Southern (depending on where you are), but close enough.

Beyond that, all I have to say to you regarding "racial innuendos" is, "Pot, meet kettle." And, no, that isn't a racial statement.

Now, to those people who complain about shopping at Wal-Mart and, yet, continue to spend their money there:

All your base are belong to Sam Walton.

Rob the Webkahunah said...

Now, now kids... lets al just try to get along, as it's obvious that "Jess" simply has never spent much time among our county's lower classes, or traveled our fair nation much.

Otherwise, Jess would know that people in various parts of the country use the same terms BB used in the post all the time, and that only rich northerners are so smug about themselves to feel it their duty to be offended when someone tells it like it is.

Anonymous said...

JESS just wants attention, please don't respond to the TROLL any more. I'm from Georgia and we call them buggies here too. If I remember correctly BBC is from Florida which would make sense to use buggy. I have lived in and traveled many areas of the US, and everyone uses descriptive terms and have different "accents" which is common to the region they live in. Just for the record,you can name any other country in the world, and the same is true there.

luckycanucky said...

I wondered why this post was worth so many comments. I thought they were applause. Well, I'll applaud ya.

I had to shop in my own accursed store the other night for something I should have brought to work with me in the first place and felt sick giving them $4.45 after over a year of buying zip. Sick, I tell you.

I can't get over the number of customer complaints about the store yet continue to give them money. I can't get over it. Our store is so understaffed and those who are employed often skip out or "call sick" rather than turn up and face a place that looks like a hurricane rolled in "to pick up a few things" and then didn't leave.

And weighing in on the buggy thing, UK shopping carts are usually called trollies and baby buggies are often called prams over there. "Buggy" can be slang for someone who's gone a little nuts and it can also describe one's camping trip. Very versatile word, buggy.

Anonymous said...

I absolutely love your blog. I found you a few weeks ago and try to read each day. You are so on top of the Wal-Mart scene it is hilarious. I say someones toes were hurting from this column. Too close for comfort there Jess. I am from the DEEP south and you are spot on.

AuntieBuggie said...

BBC - have you read "The Store" by Bentley Little? Horror book about The Store that takes over? It's pretty trashy, but fun reading.

I love your blog. Keep up the good work.

FARfetched said...

Yup, Mrs. Fetched calls 'em "buggies" too, and she's lived here on Planet Georgia all her life.

All in all, I think it's Very Bad Form to trash a blog writer in comments. Disagree, sure, but we're putting stuff out that we think is worth sharing — if you disagree, hit "Next Blog" and keep going. Use email if you have a beef.

Jessica said...

You really make me sick. Not because you're racist, or close minded, or just plain mean, but because you share my name, and that makes me sad.

BBC is doing this their readers a great service by trying as hard as they can to expose Hell-Mart for what it really is. Please... do us all a favor and just stop reading.

RE: The actual post.
I worked in a drug store (that was almost, but not quite, a full grocery store) for five years, and I heard the damn thing called everything from shopping carts to buggies to a very nice man from WAY out of town once calling it a 'grocery cage.' 'Shopping cart' had temporarily eluded him in translation and he laughed about it with me. :-)
I always laughed when people in my store said they'd never be back. We had the cheapest prices in town (they still do) and we had a clean, clear store staffed with fast, accurate, and friendly people. They always came back. Sometimes on the same day because they forgot something! :-)

The Not-Psycho-Bitch Jess

Erin Bradley said...

get off it, jess.

buggies is southern dialect.

if you're too stupid to recognize that bbcamerican *IS* american and his name refers to his enjoyment of the BBC channel then you should be shot at sundown.

(preferably with a wal-mart rifle)

grundes said...

If someone works for more than one employer, one of those being Walmart, it is almost certain that someone doesn't need visa renewals.
Know the laws of your country, Jess ;)

/likes this blog
//dune buggies FTW

Anonymous said...

I work at customer service at Walmart too and just want to let everyone reading this blog,that customer stories like BBC's happen every day at our store too.I always tell my family about them and they tell me I am I'm stretching the tales.Last night my husband came by to take me to dinner and got to witness an idiot in action.A woman and her husband come dragging up a Rug Doctor cleaner telling me they need a refund,it didn't work and now they are losing their $500 deposit on the apartment lease. I offer them another machine, they want a refund, because the husband wants to buy tools.Walmart has to make this good, they spend a lot of money here, $300 a week, and they never have this problem at Target, you owe it to us. My husband asked me how I could put up with people like this-- I have to vent just like BBC and tell the stories.

Layne said...

I just wanted to say that I love your blog! People need to understand that big stores like walmart only communicate with money. Talking to people will only get you so far, and if you want to make any kind of impact, stop spending money there! When sales drop, the decision makes will notice and do something about it.

What do you think about the uniform changes?

Anonymous said...

Hey Rob..if you really want us to "all just try to get along" perhaps you shouldn't be so quick to put down people in your post as well...."only rich northerners are so smug about themselves to feel it their duty to be offended when someone tells it like it is"

I'm from the North and I just get offended when someone assumes were all rich and smug because much as I'd like to be the first, I'm not and I try my hardest not to be the second.

As for the blog..I love it; I just tend to dislike the commenters. :)

Anonymous said...

I'm from NC and we call them, 'buggies' or sometimes just a, 'cart'.

Lazlo said...

I liked this post.

Good work. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Look, the 'buggy' thing wasn't my point.

My point is, and you all have borne me out, that you ALL are comfortable with BB's racism. You are.

You think I refered to BB as EurIndi trash for kicks and giggles? Wake up. It would take you two seconds to come to her defense if I laughed at that spot she paints between her eyes and the henna she tattoos her wrists with, yet you sit back and beg for more as she disrespects blacks (negros?); their names, their hair, their nails, their kids etc. etc. etc.

It won't be three more blogs before BB (SHE, bye the way) blogs up her snickering racial innuendos all over us. Just wait. 5...4...3...2...1... Go look.

I'll take it for being wrong about the 'buggy' thing (funny how that's the only reason most of you commented), but you ALL need to think twice about laughing next time BB spits up her biggoted racism.



quack said...

"BB" is a MAN.

How many more times will people assume this blog is written by a woman. *sheesh*

Anonymous said...

Jess (troll) -

If you actually read this blog with any regularity you would realize that *everyone* is fair game for HIM (and it *is* a guy - once again, you'd know that if you actually *read* this blog).

I've seen references to "white trash", women of a certain age, howler monkeys (small children), and so on and so forth. *Anyone* who shops @ WM who is an idiot leaves themselves open to be ridiculed on here.

It's been said before, if you don't like it, STOP READING!!!

Or did it hit too close to home?

Anonymous said...


Fuck off, dickwad.


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