Please Kali. Talk to your lost children. Speak to them. In words of one syllable. Maketh with the sign language. Draw pictures if you have to. Send visions. Smoke signals. Carrier pigeons. Pull out Vicki Lawrence and play "Win, Lose or Draw." But get this point across. If you want to pay your car bill, you need to provide the right account number. And no, yelling at me won't help.
There must be some magical point in the learning curve of life where the average adult manages to learn enough to find a job, drive a car and remember that the green paper things are "money." Anything else just slips past - like water over the edge of a flat earth.
This phenomenon seems to especially affect people who shop at Wal-Mart. Maybe there is something in that Sam's Cola after all!
At any rate ...
This woman comes up and wants to do a MoneyGram Express Payment for her car payment. Fine.
I do all the typing and I can't send it. Wrong receive code. "Ma'am - are you sure this is the code?"
"I'm sure. They called me this morning to tell me that I have to make a payment or they are going to start reposession." Great.
So I try to look up the name of the company. She's claiming it is GMAC, located in Kent, Wisconsin. I should have known. I should have known.
"Ma'am, I've got ten different GMACs - depending on which particular one you used too finance the car. None of them are in Wisconsin. And this one here is just one number different than the code you gave me. Are you sure it isn't one of these?"
"No. She gave me the code this morning. And it is in Wisconsin. I know. I'm going to call."
"That's fine ma'am." She calls. Sure enough. It is the code I told her. And she wants the GMAC in Huntington, West Virginia. Wisconsin, West Virginia. It all starts with W. So does wine.
I bet the crazy woman wrote the stuff down when they woke her up this morning threatening to repossess her truck. That must have been some kind of bender if she can't even write straight.
So I try again. And this time, it won't let me send because the account number is wrong.
"Ma'am, are you sure this account number is right?"
"Yes. I copied it down right. Don't you know how to work that thing?" Okay. All right. That is not helping. And you are officially not on my good side now.
"Ma'am, I can't send it if the account number isn't correct. You do want the money to go toward YOUR car payment don't you?" That settles her down. And she calls again.
This time, she has to give personal information to get her account number - so they know who she is. And they REALLY want to talk to her. I hear her arguing with the GMAC person. Then they really tie into it over how much she is going to send.
Apparently, $100 is NOT what they told her to send to avoid repossession. "Well, I told them I could only send $100." Pause. "Well, it's going to have to be enough. I don't have any more." Pause. "Why are you being like this?" Pause. "Well, I don't have it." Pause. "That's not really any of your business." Pause. "Can you just give me my account number please." Pause. "I'll try to send more tomorrow." Pause. "Yeah, you too buddy."
Sure enough. She had the account number wrong. The third time was the charm though and her payment went through fine.
What was she rolling you ask? A 2006 Ford F-150. Hardly an economy car.