Sunday, April 22, 2007

Dead registers walking

Remember the last time the registers really took a dive? Well, they did it again today.

Now, when the registers go out, the ones on the floor have 30 minutes of battery power to finish a sale and hopefully keep customers moving until the power comes back on.

Customer Service isn't so lucky. Whenever the power flickers, our registers die. Like dead dead. And while they do come back to life, sometimes the guns don't come back the first time around.

And we don't have a scan plate -- so if the gun isn't working, the only way we can run the register without the gun is to TYPE EVERY SINGLE SOLITARY NUMBER IN BY HAND.

So when the power goes out, the first priority is to get the registers back. Me and the other girl both managed to get our cash drawers open right as the power flickered, so no one was left totally hanging. But then 20 people decided to "check out at Customer Service" and got totally hacked off when we told them "the computers are down."

The next priority is to get at least one register with a gun working, so that customers are still being helped. Our first register reboot didn't take, but the next one did and the other girl was going gangbusters. My register took five tries before it restarted. So the line at Customer Service backed up to like 20 people deep in like 15 minutes.

During this time, one of the supervisors came up to help us out and was down on our Register 94, the one that's made shorter for handicapped customers. The entire time I've been working at the Service Desk, I've never seen a handicapped person make us help them at that register. They just come to the regular ones.

At first, she tried to fix it, but then this old bat with a phone card came up and was screaming her head off, so she was trying to do the phone card thing. The supervisor was in the middle of that when this totally crazy woman came up and started screaming at the top of her lungs about the lines at the registers.

"I WANT TO TALK TO A MANAGER RIGHT NOW."

The girl goes "I'm a customer service manager ma'am. What can I do for you?"

"YOU NEED TO GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW. THE LINES ARE A TOTAL DISGRACE. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR 40 MINUTES AND THE LINE IS TOTALLY NOT MOVING AND I'M SICK OF THIS ****!"

The reply? "I'll be there as soon as I finish helping this customer. Can you tell me what register you are on?"

"THIS IS A JOKE! THE GIRL IS NOT MOVING FAST AT ALL! I COULD SCAN GROCERIES FASTER! I DON'T KNOW WHY I EVER COME HERE AT ALL!" Look, scan and bag is totally not easy. You want a blue vest and a cash tray? Bring it.

"Ma'am. I said I'll be right there. Can you tell me what register you are on?"

"YOU NEED TO BE THERE NOW! PEOPLE ALL OVER THE STORE NEED HELP. WHAT ARE YOU DOING BACK UP IN HERE?"

And the woman reaches around the old woman, picks up a can of beans that been left on the counter and starts imitating the cashier.

"THIS IS WHAT THE GIRL LOOKS LIKE. ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT SHE CAN'T SCAN ANY FASTER?

"Ma'am, what register are you on?" Because the woman still hadn't said. And it wasn't like anyone could actually go out and help, because no one knew where to go.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WON'T GO HELP ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO NEED HELP RIGHT NOW. THE LINES ARE LONG AND TOTALLY NOT MOVING. IS THIS A JOKE TO YOU?

And now everyone in Customer Service was just STARING at this woman. Like "There was a power outage. Are you just totally out of your mind?"

So the supervisor asked one more time "Ma'am, what register are you on? I need to know to come help you?"

WELL I DON'T F****** KNOW. I'M GOING TO GO AND FIND OUT AND COME BACK AND TELL YOU. YOU BETTER GET OUT THERE FAST THOUGH OR I'M GOING TO LEAVE ALL MY STUFF AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK!

Oh my god!

15 comments:

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

And the woman reaches around the old woman, picks up a can of beans that been left on the counter and starts imitating the cashier. "THIS IS WHAT THE GIRL LOOKS LIKE. ARE YOU TELLING ME THAT SHE CAN'T SCAN ANY FASTER?

Omigod, this is funny. I can just that nut doing something like that. Thank you for making me laugh. I really needed it after the hellish weekend I've had.

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

The above post should have read "I can just picture that nut doing something like that."

Songbird said...

Now that is an example of someone who just really needs to yell. She'd have probably been angrier if the girl had been able to fix her problem immediately, 'cause it would take the steam right out of her.

Tenacitus said...

Ah yes. The Power Outage Outrage. What a happy song that is. I like the bit where they look at you as if you're insane or perhaps utterly inept when you tell them you can't scan their credit card.
"It's all to do with this funny little thing called 'electricity' which, at present, we do not seem to have--which is *why* I'm standing here with a flashlight and a calculator trying to ring up your purchase..."

yoyo said...

Sweet..holy freaking hell.


Seriously.

You seem to attract the most ignorant, selfish, stupid rude obnoxious horrible SCUM of this planet.


I plan to go and live on an oil rig, simply to get away from such people.

Tyler said...

I thought of your blog when I read this item on Complaints.com

Basically, this guy tries to return an item 5 YEARS later. He thinks its ok because he "has a receipt".

It's hilarious what people think is "ok". Five years? Come on.

j-yo said...

The sad thing is that the people who swear they will never return to your store always do.

FARfetched said...

Yeesh. Have you ever thought of taking video of these 'holes with your cellphone and posting it?

Having said that, the manglement ought to put your registers on a UPS.

Anonymous said...

That idiot on complaints.com must be a walmart customer. He misspelled 'kept' and said that it was obvious it hadn't been used while also saying it was defective which begs the question "how did he know it was defective?

MavenofMoxie said...

That fucking moron on complaints.com needs to slit his wrists, then shoot himself & finally,hang himself to make sure he is permanently removed from the gene pool. Read the gd return policy, you fuck nut ass baboon!

So tired of people acting like the world owes them a great burden of appreciation, all because they were born.

Grumpy Housewife said...

And this is why I got out of retail.

I can't do it anymore. I will leap across the counter, and beat someone to death with some piece of plastic crap they're trying to buy. I don't have that kind of patience and tolerance anymore. Not after having a child of my own, and having that child turn into a teenager.

It was bad BEFORE I had a child. I had more patience with idiots then. I used to just give people a rather confused look, much as a dog looks when it hears a high-pitched sound, and then sweetly take care of them, or send them over to a manager.

The last retail job I had, at the Blue Home Improvement Warehouse, as opposed to the Orange Home Improvement Depot? I dealt with contractors every.single.day. Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ. I don't have the patience to deal with whiny, arrogant, jerky people all day long.

I love reading your blog, but somedays, it just brings back some baaaaad memories!

The Empress said...

YOU BETTER GET OUT THERE FAST THOUGH OR I'M GOING TO LEAVE ALL MY STUFF AND I'M NEVER COMING BACK!

My response to that person:

Really? You promise? OH THANK YOU so MUCH! You just made my day.

(all while smiling sweetly)

I hate working retail. I used to work in the service desk for the Red Bulls-Eye Mass Merchandiser and even there I had some doozies.

Amanda said...

hahaha. people like this pretty much make my day. the best thing is when you respond to them with this calm voice, and you nicely point out just how stupid they are.. exactly what your CSM did.

those power outages are crazy.. there hasn't been once since i've been a CSM, but i can remember a few from when i was a cashier.

Anonymous said...

Aahhhh, complaints.com-Where anyone can see your email address which puts you in a special purgatory of unending spam mail regardless of the validity of your complaint or not. Such as the one featured here:
http://www.accentkitchenandbath.com/index.html
and the complainer: ell@accentkitchenandbath.com
That's funny!

Debo Blue said...

Why didn't you pick up that can of beans and hit that old biddy?