Sunday, December 10, 2006

Does this top go with that tree skirt?

I had a throw down with an angry yuppie over a tree skirt Saturday night. Yuppies are nearly as bad as "women of a certain age" as far as the whole "getting their way" power trip goes, but I won this one because he was an idiot who didn't know when to quit or how to play the game.

Yuppie rolls up to the Service Desk with this horribly tacky maroon tree skirt and the game begins.

Yuppie: "Can you check the price of this for me?" (Never a good beginning!) I do an ITEM INQUIRY and tell him the results.
Me: "Sir, the tree skirt is ringing up for $39.72. Was it a different price on the shelf?"
Yuppie: "It sure was. It said $19.00." Um. Yeah. This tree skirt is hideously tacky and has enough fabric to actually make a real skirt. It is most surely not $19. But anyway. And the price is right on the package. $39.72.
Me: "Sir, are you sure that this wasn't something that another customer had possibly moved over and dropped in a pile near some clearance tree skirts? That does happen. Were there any more of them near there?" I was trying to suggest that a $20 discount was a little bit much to ask.
Yuppie: "No. There were a whole bunch of them there. I know what I saw." And now Mr. Yuppie was getting very hostile. OK, whatever. I'm not calling you a bald-faced liar, just an idiot.
Me: "OK sir, I can go check for you."
Yuppie: "I can go get the tag for you."
Me: "No sir, I'll go check. You just stay right here."

Now any cashier can do a price override for up to $10, and I see stuff marked wrong all the time, but $20 dollars? That just doesn't sound right. That's why I wanted to see for myself what the story was. And Mr. Yuppie doesn't look happy that I'm personally going to investigate his little tree skirt story.

So once I find the tree skirts, I see the problem. Customers have made a big old mess back there. Stuff is all over the place and they've ripped all the tags off the hooks except for the one that says 48-INCH TREE SKIRT - $19.

Hanging under that peg is the 48-inch version of the maroon monstrosity. On the left of that is the gold lame version, just waiting for a cash-poor drag queen to adapt this into a real skirt. One more peg over is the 60-inch gold version, waiting for either a fat drag queen or Star Jones Reynolds looking for a poncho. Finally, on the NEXT peg over to the left is the 60-inch version of the maroon horror.

So the one Mr. Yuppie picked out is three pegs over from the tag that says "$19.00." And is a different size. So I take the tag and gird for battle. I smell blood on the water. Or maybe it's just that ugly maroon tree skirt!

Me: "Sir, the tag you saw says "48-INCH TREE SKIRT." The one you picked out is a 60-inch tree skirt. Do you see? I talked to the department manager and she said that only the smaller size is on sale." REMEMBER THAT THE PRICES ARE RIGHT ON THE BOXES FOR THESE THINGS!
Yuppie: "So."
Me: "Sir, I can't mark an item down $20 if it is not on sale. The department manager said that she is sorry for the problem and will give you $3 off the larger tree skirt."
Yuppie: "That's not acceptable. Everything is a mess back there."
Me: "Sir. You picked up a 60-inch tree skirt. It is priced at $39.72, is marked at $39.72 and is it ringing up at $39.72. The smaller size is the only one that is one sale."
Yuppie: "Don't lecture me. I understand. But it is not my problem that the department manager has a mess back there and I thought that I was buying something on sale." EVEN THOUGH THE PRICE IS IN INCH-HIGH LETTERS RIGHT ON THE BOX?
Me: "Sir, it is Sunday afternoon and we have done a half-million in business today. Customers have been going through stuff all day and we do apologize. That's why the department manager is offering you a discount on the tree skirt. We do understand that sometimes there may be confusion of the price of an item." EVEN THOUGH THE PRICE IS IN INCH-HIGH LETTERS RIGHT ON THE BOX
Yuppie: "That's not my problem. Three dollars is not enough when it should be $20 off."

And then this yuppie tries to win a staring contest with me! With me. Whatever fool. I have stared down crack whores and all sorts of ghetto trash.

Me: "Sir, you can get a full refund on the tree skirt, or get three dollars off the price." That's all we're going to be able to do for you.
Yuppie: "I work in retail and that's not how to treat customers." (I'm thinking, "Really, because Wal-Mart is larger than the next five largest retail firms PUT TOGETHER. Even though they're evil, they sure know how to market and sell cheap plastic crap. And looking at your receipt, you just bought about $200 worth of it.)
Me: "What do you want to do sir?"
Yuppie: "Well I guess I'll take the $3 off.

Yeah, I guess you will. And you'll tell everyone how evil I was. And you'll come right back into Wal-Mart to spend you next 20 paychecks too. Because you're an idiot yuppie too stupid to shop anywhere else.


Kyla.S said...

Ah, same thing happened to me the other day. Old lady, actually two old ladies, were trying to get a boy's shirt for $9 claiming they got it off the clearance rack. "but there were a whole bunch there" she states. Um, no. You got that off a regular priced rack at the front of the department and the clerance is at the back plus you conveniently left the rack you did pull the shirt from in such a disaray that i could tell exactly where you pulled it out from. No dice lady!! Her retort was that it wasnt fair that people do such things as move around merchandise to confuse other shoppers. Oh well not my problem. She didnt want the shirt(go figure) and went on her merry way. I take no crap when it comes to bald face liers. Anyway, awsome story, cant wait for the next one!!!

Red Stapler said...

"Because you're an idiot yuppie too stupid to shop anywhere else."
Man, sometimes you are far, *far* too funny. =)

Stephanie said...

THAT is hilarious! I can SO relate...I worked at Target for 5 years at guest service, and some of the idiots I encountered were just beyond belief.

Giselle R. said...

I love your blog--very funny stuff. I used to work at a Bookstore. What could be worse than ignorant or low IQ people? the snotty little "Literature Know it All"
Him "Don't you have any of Turgenev's OTHER novels?"
Me: Nope. Sorry. I can order them for you.
Him: Lectures me on the virtues of Turgenev's OTHER novels.
Me: We're a small store: limited shelf space. I can order them for you.
Him: Lectures me on the amount of space we are wasting on sci fi etc... drones on and on. Insults the store, insults me, implies I don't appreciate lieterature, blah blah...
I say nothing. He talks to himself some more before leaving in a rage.
All that superior behavior---and
he never once pronounced Turgenev correctly.
I don't correct strangers. Getting rude back would just take up too much energy for me! I need my energy for me! I used to laugh about it later, though.

Anonymous said...

Now let me start off by saying... There are some stupid people out there, and some good stories here but...

With the time it takes to write this up, and I'm guessing countless hours spent surfing the internet. Has it ever occured to you to spend that time to further your education and get a real job?
While most people that shop at walmart are real Whiskey Tango's.... So are most of the people that work there.

You can't expect class out of the customers if the employees don't have it either.

Clyde Drexler said...

Aren't yuppies successful, cocky businessmen with money? And this guy works in retail, which means not successful or rich? So how is he a yuppy again?

Anonymous said...

I'm missing how a guy who works in retail and shops at Wal-mart could be considered a young urban professional?