The weekend in a nutshell

Once I process, I want to expand on some topics, but this was the weekend in a nutshell:

• A man burped right in my face Sunday. I bent down to look over the receipt, and I heard him go "Uuuuurpppp" right above my face. He did not even have the grace to excuse himself.
  
• Don't assume that just because you take the item (a set of Disney dishes for kids) out of the box, we will give you a discount for "no packaging." Then playing "20 Questions" with me and going "What if I didn't have the other one that is in the box?" "What if this was the only one left?" Well, one, we have a computer and can look up the price. Barcodes are NOT magical! Two, we offered you a 10% discount on perfectly good merchandise just because the box is "a little torn up. Take it or leave it.
  
• If you are getting money, ask if they really did use MoneyGram. Do not yell at me because you "thought" they went to a Wal-Mart when in reality they used Western Union. Then don't get even more pissed off at me because I told you an hour ago that the code you gave me was a Western Union code. Total idiots.
  
• If you open a video game, you own it. Period. If it "does not work on your computer" YOU are the one who was stupid enough to buy it before checking that out. Then don't get angry because "they didn't tell me that when I bought it." This woman was REALLY pissed off. I mean, I know your kid was stupid, but jeez lady, have you EVER been able to just return open software or video games?
  
• A man asked for directions to a freaking TARGET! I looked at him sort of like "Do you know where you are?" then tried to tell him how to get there. Then the cow behind him in line jumped in and tried to "help." I hope he got carjacked.
  
• "I lost my receipt. If I give you my credit card, can you give me another one?" is not going to fly. EVER.
  
• If you buy a WeedEater in August of 2005, you cannot return it in July of 2006 just because you "don't use it a lot." And he got all huffy with me and was like "Well, I've never had a problem before." Whatever dude.
  
• Even the stupid people who work at Customer Service do not cash personal checks. Do that and you find yourself looking for a new job. So little missy, don't stand there and try to look cute and go "We live right across the street. We cash checks here every weekend." And then when I go "Ma'am, we do not cash personal checks." — don't look me and go "So you're saying you can't cash this check?" Puh-leeze. You are only showing your stupidity there missy.
  
• You cannot $50 worth of infant formula on WIC and then return it for cash. It is a state crime to return WIC items for cash. Out-of-date or expired products can be exchanged. NO RETURNS ON WIC. And don't go "Someone did it for me before." Maybe they did and that's why that "someone" don't work here no more.
  
• If you put a bag full of nasty stuff on the counter in front of me (some kid's toy with some sort of gloopy slime that had busted open) don't look at me funny when I go get a bunch of paper towels and a pair of plastic gloves to dig through the mess and try to find the receipt that your "precious daughter" dropped in the middle of that mess. And don't go "It isn't that bad." Screw you. I do not get a uniform allowance and I've got six more hours to work. I don't want something that looks like a cross between snot and milk of magnesia on my shirt or all over my counter for the rest of the day.