Saturday, April 08, 2006

Been waiting in line ...

I know right? It's been a while. I can only plead that it has been a tough week at my real job - that, and trying to get my taxes done. Lord, the thought that I have to PAY taxes this year to the corrupt GOP regime. It kills me.

Anyway. You want to hear about the mess I had to deal with last Sunday. Here goes:

1. Woman tried to buy a money order with a check. "Well, why can't I do it? I'm going to write a check for the groceries." It has NOTHING to do with whether the check is good or not. But we can't exchange paper money for real money, because that's what a money order is.

2. These to white trash 'hos roll up. They've got one of those pre-paid cell phones and claim it doesn't work. The serial number on the receipt is different than the one on the phone. "Dis is 'de only receipt my momma give me," one of them tries to bluster, but I can see in her eyes she knows I've won. I won't let them return it. They complain and I have to give the skanks the $68 plus tax back. It is NOT my problem if you don't even have good enough credit to afford Metro PCS!!!

3. If you have something like a coffee pot or a blender or a pet item or cosmetics and I ask you if you've used it, I ONLY want to know so I can either return it to the sales floor or send it back to claims with a defect slip. I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU DID WITH IT. These people lie all the time. I have no clue why. You have a receipt and the box. I really don't care what condition it is in; you're going to get your money back. I JUST NEED TO KNOW.

4. Old people are forgetful. This is a fact of life brought on by aging minds and the advance of slowing reflexes. HOWEVER. Please do not leave a folder with ALL your Medicare history, plus your prescriptions and insurance claim information in a buggy in McDonalds, have lunch and remember an hour later that you left the folder there. We will try to help you. HOWEVER. It is NOT OUR PROBLEM THAT YOU ARE STUPID.

5. We do not own the McDonalds, the portrait studio, the nail salon or the hair salon. If you ignore the WET FLOOR signs in your haste to get a soda and trip and fall in McDonalds, take it up with them. Wal-Mart do not care.

Also, if the stylist has a flat tire and is running late, the hair salon will not open on time. I can't "just call someone." The hours for these places are posted in type three inches tall next to the doors. If you ask politely, I might tell you what time the salon opens. If you're rude, I'll pretend to ignore you.

6. If you claim that you picked up a DVD without the plastic slipcase and "didn't realize" that it was already empty, you deserve to have paid $19.94 for an empty plastic box.

That's possible. People still junk all the time. Especially new releases. So I tell you to get another one and then we'll just give you a good one for the pilfered one. HOWEVER.

If you then claim that we don't have any more of that one when the computer says we have 22 more AND it is a new release, then you're just a lying 'ho. You're gonna burn.


ct said...

Dude, you have an extremely funny blog. I sense a novel in the works. keep at it!

Paula said...

I just found your blog within the last day or so. I have read every entry. You are great!!I look forward to more.
You should write a book about your tales at Wally World (that's what we call it here in Northern Ontario) I also hope that you find true love soon or at least a good one nite stand-you sound like such a sweet guy!
Take Care

Doug said...

6. If you claim that you picked up a DVD without the plastic slipcase and "didn't realize" that it was already empty, you deserve to have paid $19.94 for an empty plastic box.

This made me laugh so hard! :) I love reading your blog because I have worked in customer service and know how customers can be.

Anonymous said...

Hey, I envision you to be one of our wal-mart employees who are just sucking up payrole. Why don't you go and quite so we can get someone who really needs a job.

Manager at your store.

Oh, ps, we know who you are and have known for a while now.

Anonymous said...

Dude, you sound like such an idiot.

get a life!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I cannot belive that an Walmart employee would be so dumb to post that on the internet and not think that a manager wouln not see it. I just goes to show you what type of people work there

willow 58 said...

you have collected a large appreciative audience in the past week.. i heard about your blog on a large yahoo group list..
if we weren't all laughing, we'd all go insane.[buffet]

Anonymous said...

You have to love free speech. Like the Wal-Mart bigwigs even care, as long as you don't try to start a union they probably could care less what you say, it's not like its a big secret that Wally service sucks and that white trash (or trashy ppl in general) are stupid.