Monday, March 06, 2006

Mr. Coffee, meet Ms. Dishonest

Wal-Mart sells cheap coffemakers. I'm not going to argue this fact, but honestly you ought to know what you're buying when you're paying $18.94 for a coffeemaker that was assembled by workers in the Third World. But that's not the moral of this story.

This woman comes in with a coffeemaker and a receipt, but no box. Says she bought the thing last week and it has already gone out. Now, it happens, but unless she was making coffee for a truck stop all day every day for that week, she didn't buy THAT coffeemaker a week ago.

"I threw the box out." They always throw the box out, especially when this is YOUR OLD COFFEEPOT AND YOU'RE RETURNING IT BECAUSE YOU BOUGHT A NEW ONE AND YOU ARE A GREEDY AND DISHONEST WITCH.

Without the box, I can't really tell which model it is, and it isn't really worth it to get militant over $19. Even if I looked it up in the computer, she'd just say "But that was what was in the box." I've had them do that to me before. Besides, whichever idiot manager is on duty will give her the money back anyway and probably a gift card because I called her a liar. Which she is.

I had no choice but to give her the money back. I decide all this within 10 seconds of looking at the receipt, looking at her, then at the coffeepot. Then comes her masterstroke.

"Oh, and I don't like this permanent filter either. It makes the coffee taste bad."

So the woman used her old stuff until it wore out, came out and bought a new coffeepot and new filter, then used the NEW receipt to return the OLD merchandise. Heifer got $23 and change back.

I hope she burns her tongue on every cup of coffee she ever drinks. And her teeth grow yellow and stained and the lining of her stomach corrodes. I hope she lies awake at night driven fidgety by the caffeine and ponder the evility of her deed. For thou shalt rot in hell, sinner!

Yeah, that was pretty much the way my Sunday went. One cheating, lying and mean-spirited person after another, including the ancient dowager who walked in front of 10 people and demanded to pay her Wal-Mart credit card bill.


Anonymous said...


I fear that Walmart is stripping you of your sound ethics. Although it's easy to have good ethics when you don't have to deal with the hopeless day in day out.

I hope the Jeep still brings you joy and that you seriously consider turing this into a book - I heard on the BBC or was it your own Public Broadcasting that there's an award for the best Blook similar to the Booker prize.

Think about it

Cheers and beers,


Bins said...

Sorry, I spelt turning wrongly