90 days MEANS 90 days

My patience was severely tried Saturday. Not one but TWO people tried to return things with receipts from last July. I just DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT.

The first one was the worst. This guy comes in with an air conditioner. I could tell just from looking at it that it had been used - used AND abused. I knew there was no way this was within the 90-day limit, but I didn't show all my cards right away.

The first thing I do before I make any move is to check the date on the receipt. Usually this isn't a problem, but I've had people hang on to stuff FOREVER and then try to sneak it in months and months later. Anyway.

The date on the receipt was 07/10/05. Saturday was March 11, 2006. That was 245 days, counting the Saturday. So, NO YOU CANNOT BRING THAT NASTY THING BACK.

Predictably, he starts arguing. And he wants cash. Now, there's a looooooooong line. Like eight people, and they're all shifting around, getting impatient and wishing that either he'd shut and leave or I'd cave in.

I'm not caving. I got screamed at from the District Loss Prevention woman for taking back a sewing machine - never used - and giving store credit that was two days over the 90 days once. I'm sure as hell not taking back this air conditioner - and giving him cash.

He demands to know where it says "No returns after 90 days." FATAL MISTAKE. This, it happens to say in letters three inches tall on the board behind customer service. He acts like he doesn't understand, and then says that it says I have to take it back.

At this point, I decide to make a fool of him. I raise my voice so that EVERYONE in the Customer Service area can hear and read out the words: "Items may be returned for a refund or exchange with a receipt within 90 days of purchase." Then I go "Sir, you purchased that merchandise in July of 2005. It is now March of 2006. You are well past 90 days. I can give you the warranty information, but you CANNOT get cash, store credit or exchange it for another one. Now, do you want the warranty information or not?"

He took the warranty information and left. Good riddance.

Not twenty minutes later, some man tried to return a can of paint, again from July of 2005. He said he had painted his daughter's bedroom and kept it in case he need to do more. Now he was going to do a different color and didn't need this paint any more. Nice story. Bad move. I don't care if you're painting a church. You're not bringing back eight-month-old paint.