Sunday, May 15, 2005

Plunging into darkness

I retreat to the Service Desk every chance I get, because I feel at home there. The customer service podium, where we run the front end, is like an island in a sea of madness.

Customers think it is a "general information" station. Managers think it is a place to stop and complain about anything that crosses their tiny brains. Cashiers like to hang out, because they're either a)lazy and don't want to go on a register or b) are drawn to the scent of power like an addict to heroin and think my job is easy. Either way, the podium is a magnet for trouble of all types. I hate it because I feel like a rat on a sinking ship at ALL time when I'm there.

So today, when the extra people came in at 2 p.m., I retreated to the Service Desk and made one of the lazier cashiers go out on a register.

In the next hour, I had 20 customers, which was basically one every three minutes. The line never let up, but I'm good. These are the choice bits.

  • "I want to return this." This lady slaps a toilet plunger up on the counter. OK, that's not a problem. It looked clean. (that was my first mistake) I get her receipt and grab the plunger to look for the tag. "Oh, here's the tag," she says as she pulls it out of her purse. "I tried it out in the commode and it wouldn't work." She neglected to inform me of this only after I touched the thing by the business end. (that was my second mistake) I realized that this plunger had been in some nasty toilet bowl surrounded by god knows what and now she wants to RETURN it?

  • "Your cashier doesn't know how to bag!" So help me go, but what do you expect? Fifty-seven different sizes of boxes, five kinds of lining and special satin interiors? Pick-a-bag, just like a pick-a-casket wall?

    Anyway, this old bat comes in with a radio, claiming the cashier "broke the antenna" when she put it in the bag. The radio had already been reduced. I told her I could give her $2 off, or she could return it. "You can't give me more?" I explain that we get full credit for sending defective merchandise back to the manufacturer. "Well, I guess I'll just have to take the $2 then," she sputters. Then she wants to know if the CD player part will work because the antenna is broken. **sigh** Mandatory senility tests and then euthanasia for those hitting the stupidity barrier once you pass 50 - such a good idea.

  • Now we cash paychecks. Now we DO NOT cash your paycheck if your boss does not have money in the account to cover the paycheck. Once the company has had a payroll check bounce at ANY Wal-Mart, no other store will cash that check. So we've had a lot more checks refused lately because I guess some people are having a hard time making payroll. Just get some direct deposit!

    DukeCityMan said...

    Hey, wait a moment...I'm over 50 (52) and I certainly don't treat people or act like that! Probably because of a lifetime in retail having to deal with people who do stupid stuff :-)

    Quacks Like A Duck said...

    Hey wait... You didn't tell us whether it still played CDs with a broken antenna... Don't keep me hanging...