The routine of "Can I help you?" followed by a fairly predictable number of buttons and either a refund or a gift card is probably going to be permanently imprinted on my brain for all time.
But there really are some days I just shouldn't go to work. There are days when the first few returns right out of the gate just signal that it's a blue moon, the crazies and the scammers are out and I should have come in loaded for bear and with a full set of body armor.
Like this woman who brought back a baby swing thing. Anyway. She claims she bought it "a week ago" and it doesn't work.
OK. That's fine. Except she doesn't have the receipt. Or the box. Or any of the papers that came with it. All she has is an assembled swing. No baby either, although I'm grateful enough for the absence of a howler monkey I don't think about the lack of supporting evidence.
OK. If it's broken we'll exchange it for you. I tell her to go get me another one off the shelf, or bring me the shelf label so I know how much credit to give her.
She back a few minutes later.
SHOCKER! We don't have any more. I take a closer look at this swing and quickly realize that the reason we don't have any more is probably because we either NEVER sold it or else HAVEN'T sold it in quite a few months.
Why? There's rust around the bolts and other obvious signs of wear and tear. I ask her again. "When did you buy this?" And I get the same "A week ago" answer.
And I ask again "And you don't have the receipt, even though you bought it a week ago?" Of course she doesn't.
And I ask again "And you don't have the box or the papers, even though you bought it a week ago?" Of course she doesn't. That infant is probably in preschool and she needs cash for beer and ciggies.
I tell her I can't return it. She wants a manager.
She gets a manager and walks out a few minutes later with a shop card for $31.76.
On a busy day, with the right manager, you could probably return your mother-in-law for cash. I'm sure she shops at Wal-Mart anyway.