OK. You have the blender - the same blender - not an old one (because that trick does get played), neatly packaged in the original box - complete with instructions. You've got a receipt from about a month ago - which is well within our 90-day limit to return an item. There ain't gonna be no problem returning this here blender.
So please tell me lady - please, for the love of caviar and toast points - when I ask you "Have you used the blender at all?" - do you feel compelled to lie to me? "No. I never used it."
Why is "Have you used it?" a starting point for a web of lies?
Well, for one, when I take the blender jar out to see if it is indeed the same as on the box - I CAN SEE FISH SCALES STUCK ALL AROUND THE SCREW THING ON THE BOTTOM! It's like a koi pond down there. I don't know whether to laugh or throw pennies and put up Buddhist statues and start meditating!
Furthermore, you've had it for a month. You might have, you know - I don't know - tried it out in all that time. Besides. The smell coming from this thing is like the back door of a fish joint.
The only reason I'm asking is that I need to know if we can sell the blender again. Yes. We do need to know these things - you pert little Asian yuppie wearing a pink and green spaghetti-strap dress and fitted out in jade bangles and with a beautiful short sexy haircut.
I don't really care that "Your mother decided she didn't want a blender." What you do with the aged crone is your business. Chop her up and put her in the blender and serve her with fava beans and a nice Chianti. Make a nice California roll. Whatever. Did. You. Use. The. Blender?
Your mother is NOT RELEVANT to the discussion. "DID. YOU. USE. IT." Sashimi. Oyster margaritas. Fish rolls. Salmon croquettes. Fugu for five. Starfish for six. Jonathan Livingston Seagull for seven. Slade Gorton stew. I don't care. Just tell the truth.
YES or NO. The answer is simple. Because you would sure enough blow a gasket it we sold you a blender that looked and smelled like someone ground up enough fish to keep Mrs. Paul's in business for the next decade. OK? Okay. What are you doing with a blender anyway? Blender are not cheap food processors. As obviously you learned when you tried to grind up fish - scales and all.
After all. It is a $24 blender. Don't nobody need to commit perjury for the sake of $24. For reals.
Buttons. Mash. DEFECTIVE. [Customer said motor burned out & there was a burning smell.]
Because I have to lie. I can't put "Cheap woman bought a blender, ground up some fish and returned it because she really needs a food processor but is too cheap to pay a $100 for even a low-end KitchenAid model."