Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Your issues are not my problems

Let me take a second to say that if I am doing you the courtesy of a) looking you in the eye, b) attempting to smile, c) ignoring how much my feet hurt and how hungry I am, not to mention the fact that I didn't get a break and have been working the desk for three hours by myself and d) give you a pleasant greeting such as "How are you doing?" - you need to at least make an effort and minimally GRUNT IN MY GENERAL DIRECTION.

Slapping a backpack and an envelope on the counter and saying "I need to cash my check. Gimme a pen," is NOT AN EFFORT.

Then, when I politely inform you that we are unable to cash handwritten payroll checks, getting histrionic is even less of a correct response.

No, I really don't care that this is your "advance." You should have rolled out of bed before noon and hit the Wachovia or the Bank of America. Your issues, not mine.

No sir, you do not "always cash that check here." No sir, repeating that louder. Or louder is not going to make it any less false. Again, your issues, not mine.

No, I really don't care that you "got to pay your rent." I want an iPhone, but I wrote out my rent check and the check to my car insurance and the checks to my student loan people and to Florida Power & Light, T-Mobile and to Comcast. Guess what, I'm not gonna get an iPhone any time this decade.

Don't whine, pout, snarl and ask me "Well what am I supposed to do?" That whole entitlement thing is really unattractive - especially on bratty twentysomethings. PS: You're really not cute enough for me to care about.

I can't tell you to grow a pair and grow up, even though I want to. I've got to direct you to the Publix six miles down the road or to the Circle K about 9 blocks down. Not that they're going to cash it either, but it gets you out of my face.

If paying your rent was so important - you would have hauled your sorry smells-like-weed posterior out of bed and to a bank. Not made a stop at your dealer for a dime bag. Yeah, dude, everybody can smell it. I got a good hit off the fumes. Thanks for that. But I'm still not going to cash that check.

Don't come back now, ya' hear. And lay off the post-pot munchies. You're getting a freshman fifteen and college was a few years back.


High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

At least he's working and not on the government dole, or are the handwritten paychecks usually bogus?

As for the iPhone, I can't afford one, either unless Wal-Mart starts selling them! :O

Erin Bradley said...

Same thing when I used to work hostess at a restaurant.

ME: Hi. How are you?


Even worse was when they would mutely invade my personal space and try to get a look at my clipboard of names.

First of all, this is MY clipboard. I don't have much in this piece of shit place, but I do have this clipboard.

Other staff members aren't allowed to look at this clipboard. People who have been waiting 45 minutes longer than you can't look at this clipboard. Fucking DICK CHENEY can't look at this clipboard.

What makes you, Ms. I Just Piled Out of the Minivan and Ran in the Front Door Because Apparently It's a Potato Skin Emergency, think you're going to get a look at my clipboard?

At least try a little foreplay. "Hello" is good for starters.

Nonchalant Savant said...

"Well what am I supposed to do?"

How tempted I would be to say "Grow up and take responsibility for the predicament you now find yourself in."

That would be good for a few moments of the 'trout-face.'

Anonymous said...


Your writing skills have REALLY improved over the last six months. I mean that!

Is someone ghosting you? I mean, it's unreal. I really enjoyed the style of this post to your blog. Did you just spend more time on it, or did it simply flow from the heart and come easily? If the later is the case, thank you for a window to the true nature of your maturity; how refreshing.

I like this in you. It's not as critical and biggoted as earlier posts, yet, ammusingly clear, pointed and FAIR.


Anonymous said...

I feel your pain. I can't tell you how many times today I got called over and asked "can we cash this check?" ummmmmm, no. It's handwritten. Every single one of the customers spouted back, "I've done it before! I've been doing it for months." Sorry about that, you're not doing it today. Wal-mart doesn't cash handwritten payroll checks. (I did have one that got crafty and printed theirs on a computer. Had they not printed it in Comic Sans I might've gone for it.) Have a nice day.

Dinsdale said...

"...or are the handwritten paychecks usually bogus?"

Probably, or else the company is too cheap to afford a printer, which means the check will probably bounce.

j-yo said...

Good for you for standing up to these morons. It's bad enough to be stupid; being stupid and trying to make it someone else's problem is just asking for it.