Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Five Finger Fridays: V.1.0

We're in a ghetto neighborhood. People think Wal-Mart is either a rental agency or just a U-Pick stand. Here's just a partial list of what washed up stolen this weekend. Please keep in mind this is just what we find the EMPTY packages for - not what walks right out the store and we never discover.

  • An EPT pregnancy test.
  • Four packages of mens/boys underwear - really odd; I think it was some sort of prank/dare where some kids wore them out under their clothes. No ever steals underwear and leaves the package behind.
  • A tube of Lotrimin AF
  • Seven DVDs, including "High School Musical," "My Super Sweet 16 - Season 1," "Premonition," "Shooter" and "Happy Feet"
  • Eight CDs - including 50 Cent and an old Mariah Carey
  • Razor blades
  • A baby's teething ring
  • A baby's pacifier
  • Two packages of razors
  • Men's wallet
  • Three boxes of Clairol hair color
  • Box of band-aids (almost totally gone)
  • A tube of Preparation H hemorrhoid cream
  • A pack of peanut M&Ms
  • One egg of L'eggs pantyhose
  • Two 2GB memory cards for digital cameras
  • A cell phone hip holster
  • Pack of LifeStyles condoms
  • Two packs of Trojans condoms
  • A tube of KY
  • One bottle of Excedrin (to deal with the inevitable howler monkey byproduct of the Trojans & KY, perhaps)
  • An apple (Yes, I found the core.)
  • 1 2GB Flash drive
  • Scooby-doo toothbrush
  • Swiss Army knife
  • Three packs of AAA batteries
  • One pack of multi-colored Sharpies
  • A pack of Elizabeth Arden perfume
  • A pack of children's barettes
  • A pack of adult's ponytail holders
  • and a dog leash

UPDATED to add BoingBoing's list of Most shoplifted items.


Debo Blue said...

People would really steal Preparation H?

Sorry, forgot this is Walmart shoppers we're talking 'bout.

Anonymous said...

someone who didn't want the cashier to know they had hemorrohoids?

Anonymous said...

And yet AP still says its the associates that are responsible for the shrink.I show our AP everytime I find something. Being a CSM we see a lot, between what we find and those that want to " return" the "gift" and of course there NEVER is a reciept.

Songbird said...

Well of course they need razor blades! How else will they steal flash drives, memory sticks and mp3 players?

/ex-Electronics Department employee

yoyo said...

Humans are really crap sometimes.:(

If people feel they can just take whatever the hell they want, and it's happening THAT much, just what is going to happen to this planet?

We're freaking doomed.

Erin Bradley said...

Hey Debo Blue,

Preparation H ranks #9 on the list of most shoplifted items.

Check it out:


#1 is Advil, which makes me kind of sad. Kind of a commentary on where we're at with health care for poor peeps in this country.

I know not all shoplifters are the "noble poor" but you have to be kind of ignorant and desparate to resort to that kind of shit.

Anonymous said...

Erin - The link is dead :(

Erin Bradley said...

oops. sorry.


Erin Bradley said...

damn. keeps cutting me off.

here's the end of it:


emerae said...

Advil and Prep-H contain ingredients used to make Crystal Meth.

I'm sure the razor blades have something to do with it too.

1adybug1ady said...

I'm not saying people are not stealing Advil, but I myself have gotten a headache while shopping, opened up a bottle of Advil and taken a couple tablets, and then taken it to the cashier after I finished shopping - only to discover my howler monkeys have dumped the bottle out of the package when I wasn't looking and left the box somewhere. samething has happened when I've bought small toys, sippy cups, etc. (One of the MANY reasons I hate taking my howler monkeys shopping!) But the point is I always pay for the things they open - including a Dora toothbrush they snagged while I was hunting for toothpaste and soap.

Kasia said...

That's a first. I've never heard someone refer to her OWN kids as 'howler monkeys'...

Anonymous said...

A lot of shoplifted items are also resold to small shops so the shoplifter can buy drugs. There's a store a few miles from the supercenter here that is notorious for buying stolen goods.

Anonymous said...

my kids are so bad, calling them howler monkeys would be an improvement over how i usually call them.

once i told my middle daughter to stop having a tantrum whilst in public, as she was scaring the single people.

Anonymous said...

I can see razor blades (assuming you mean the kind you shave with)

Those things are freaking expensive!!

1adybug1ady said...

Unfortunately it is true that howler monkey is one of the nicer names I have privately called my kids. That's the reason I needed the Advil in the first place!

1adybug1ady said...

AGREE about the expensive razors - I groan whenever I have to buy them - but I still BUY them!

Anonymous said...

"Advil and Prep-H contain ingredients used to make Crystal Meth.

That expalins why the tweakers around here have a mouth that looks like an anus.

luckycanucky said...

I haven't found anything recently but as to the underwear thing, yes, people really will steal underwear and it's not for kicks. I wonder how many bras go missing out of our store because we took all the gator tags off to make ready for self-serve pay kiosks. Same for cut fabric. They can't tag that stuff anymore either and have to rely on the honesty of the person they give it to.

We can't monitor the fitting room area like we ought to and I know that's a favourite place to bring the stuff you want to hide in your purse or pockets.

Anonymous said...

Bandaids: an employee cut him/herself andneeded first aid and needed to take a few home for later.

Colored Sharpies: Customer opened the package and tried one: employee was too lazy to deal with the open package sans one pen; rest of Sharpies from package are in the backroom being used by employees.

Barrets and dog leash: product separated from package/string tag product is still in store, just not found and returned to package.

KY and Excedrin used for meth: Bull.

The rest were probably stolen.

They ought to weigh everyone when they come in the store and compare the weight upon exit. Only check for increases, though: maybe they used the restroom.

Anonymous said...

# Two packs of Trojans condoms
# A tube of KY
# One bottle of Excedrin (to deal with the inevitable howler monkey byproduct of the Trojans & KY, perhaps)

isn't the point of condoms to AVOID the howler monkeys :)