Sunday, July 22, 2007

My friend, he gave me this gun ...

I hear all sorts of stories from people returning things without a receipt. Most of the time they are not creative enough to thing of something really good. I got a receipt and a whopper of a tale Sunday night.

This kid - and yes, at 19, he is still a "kid," comes up with a Winn-Dixie sack and pulls out a paintball gun - one that looks shockingly like a real gun. No box, no papers, nothing.

What he does have is a wadded-up piece of paper that proves to be a receipt. With some caveats.

He has PARTS of a receipt from another Wal-Mart store. The part with the UPC number and about a third of the transaction barcode at the bottom. No date, so I don't know how old this piece of crap is. There's also a hole that looks like a cat or dog either ate or clawed a chunk of the top of the receipt out. Mangled, I give you a textbook illustration.

So I give him the options. 1) Find the other part of the receipt. (cue frantic pocket searching, to no avail) 2) take it back to the store this came from and see if they can look it up. 3) Get a store credit. Please note that the word "cash" never came up during this recitation.

"Well, why can't I get cash?" -- "Sir, the receipt is destroyed. You don't have a box or packaging and you didn't purchase the item at this store. Those are your options."

So now he tells me "My friend, this is his gun. But he owe me money and he give me this gun. He said I could have the gun. But I don't want the gun. I want the money. I want cash."

OK. First off, what is this? Detroit? Are we up on the 8-Mile? Malcolm Jamal Warner gonna come round the corner rapping or something? Your friend is giving you guns with a receipt to pay off a debt. Puh-leeze. Second, you are whiter than white and not at all ghetto, so "my friend owe me money and give me a gun" just does not sound tough WHEN IT IS A PAINTBALL GUN!

We go through the options again. I'm trying to break it down and use small words. Brainpower is not his forte. For the curious, no, he was NOT cute enough for me to care about.

His answer? "So you're gonna gimme cash right?"

See, here's where I get annoyed. WE COVERED THIS. Your alleged debtor friend is not my problem. The fact that you want cash is not my problem. The fact that you destroyed the receipt is not my problem. The fact that you apparently cannot comprehend what I'm telling you in plain English is NOT MY PROBLEM.

"No. If you want cash, you need to go to this store and have them recover this receipt. If they even can. You don't have a date on there. They're probably going to give you a credit too."

He gets a hangdog look and says "Well, OK. I don't want to drive across town and get on the turnpike. Gimme a cash card."

**Sigh** This child had cash on the brain.


Made in Detroit said...

No, your past Sunday's situation would never happen in Detroit seeing as how there are no Walmarts in the city.

Choose another big city to pick on.

Anonymous said...

GEE, no Walmarts for the Detroit thugs to rob. WOW!

The best thing about Detroit is the bridge to Windsor.

DolfanDad said...

hey made in detroit, he was obviously not specifically picking on detroit. He was making an 8mile reference because you know Eminem is proudly from detroit. And who cares if he picks on detroit, do you know every second of every day I'm sure detroit is getting picked on.

Ol' Lady said...

I just get surprised when one of your customers eventually get what you are telling them...within a reasonable amount time...You should have little star stickers (like teachers use to use for good work) and each customer who's light bulb finally comes on...gets a sticker to wear for the day...I wonder how many you would give away?

Anonymous said...

"what is this? Detroit? Are we up on the 8-Mile? Malcolm Jamal Warner gonna come round the corner rapping or something? are whiter than white and not at all ghetto.."

What a friggin' raciist biggot! Are you all going to cuddle on up to this crap?

I swear, this ignorant plap thinks she has to post racist pulp to get read. I'm waiting for her take on the Jews.

Recognize: if she feels she has to be racist to get read, she sure enough is simply making up 98% of this dog and pony show.

Sad that you're all good with being punked.

Silence confers consent.


zhasper said...

And who cares if he picks on detroit,
thinks she has to post racist pulp

Good to see we all agree on BBCs gender. I'd always assumed female, mostly because it's always the guys who are "not cute enough to care about"...

Anonymous said...

Anyone else noticed that Jess always has some issue with a blog entry? Anyone else wonder why he keeps reading?

Songbird said...

Silence IMPLIES consent. Qui tacet consentit. Confer doesn't even make sense in that sentence.

And HE is clearly calling out a type, not a race. If you think BBCAmerican's being racist or trolling, you really ought to remove the stick from your posterior and re-read.

But please, by all means, continue to showcase your breathtaking ignorance.

Kasia said...

The best thing about Detroit is the bridge to Windsor.
In case you've never noticed, Anonymous, Windsor isn't exactly puppies and sunshine either.

And who cares if he picks on detroit, do you know every second of every day I'm sure detroit is getting picked on.
And that's supposed to make Made in Detroit feel better because...??

Anonymous said...

Mr. Blogger, you have to be careful because if people from "the hood" make videos where they cannot speak English and wear their pants below their ass-crack and talk about guns and cappin' people you MUST NOT make reference to this. This would not be called a societal reference, but rather "racism". Also, please don't say that the people in your store wearing grass skirts are "Hawaiian" or the guys in Lederhosen look "Bavarian".
On another point, you don't understand that people who live in poverty and remain in poverty all have one thing in common. Their problems are your problems if they want them to be your problems. If they kill someone and need a ride, you HAVE to give them one, because it's YOUR PROBLEM. They have a kid out of wedlock, well, YOU have to babysit. They get fired or cannot show up sober, well, YOU have to hand them money on the street when they ask for it. This is why very few impoverished inner-city types can't go to college or get themselves out...because they have to pick up the slack for their slacker parents or siblings. Rich and successful people simply say "fugoff" and go to work.

Anonymous said...

Please note that I said: "THE BEST THING ABOUT DETROIT IS THE BRIDGE TO WINDSOR" And, in fact, that indeed is the best thing about Detroit. Windsor is a vast improvement over Detroit, but hey so is Hell.