Thursday, October 04, 2007

How high

I'm putting away some of the stuff that people leave at the registers and I go behind the partition at our Service Desk to get to the bins for Hardware and Sporting Goods when I hear my supervisor call me.

"This man needs some change."

I dump out the stuff I've got in my hands and go back out front. My supervisor is about to open my register, but waits on me. Generally, I'm not a fan of them opening "my" register without me, even though we're not directly responsible for our money anymore.

Anyway, I ask the guy what kind of change he wants and it is like his brain stops working.

Then I notice he is as high as a kite - either some really good pot, pills or something. I mean this dude was FLYING!

He holds out three twenties. I take them and look at him and say again. "What kind of change do you want?"

He goes "Bluh." Seriously. That was the sound. "Bluh."

And hits a mental wall. I could see wheels turning. Gears start grinding. Smoke comes out his ears. Then the mental engine starts again and his words pour out. "Fiftydollarsinfivesandtenones."

"OK. You want ten fives and ten ones?"

Pause. Beat. Beat. Beat. "Yeah man."

I count at the drawer and count it back to him. "Thanks a lot man."

I turn around and ask my supervisor. "What the hell was he on?"

He tells me "He told me what change he wanted when he first came up and forgot by the time you got here. I wondered if he was going to remember. I don't know what he was on, but I know I need me some of that."

Amen. Mind-altering drugs would indeed make the workday go faster at the House of Wal.

6 comments:

kelmeister said...

You, Sir, are a mathematical genius. I had to count that "ten fives and ten ones" out on my fingers about twenty times before I came to sixty dollars. And I worked retail for seven years, too.

Math is hard. No wonder our country's going to Hell in a handbasket. :)

Anonymous said...

Talk about flashback to my days of youth! I'm still laughing :)

FARfetched said...

Hey, you & the management agreed on something for once!

After last week, yesterday, and today (had a break for a couple of days), I could use some of that too.

gifford said...

i know if i worked at walmart i'd be showing up everyday blown out to all hell.

you should take a note from that guy, i mean its not like you need THAT many braincells to interact with walmart's customers.

Riohnna said...

LOL kelmeister!

I forgot my name badge said...

our country's going to Hell in a handbasket. :)

Our country shops at Hellmart and their handbaskets are full of crap that isn't made in this country. I'm glad I no longer work in Hellmart.