Seriously lady? I'm not trying to be rude to you, but you make a slab of concrete look like a Mensa scholar.
You want to return a toilet seat using a receipt from January 21st of 2006? Seriously? That's 554 days ago. 79 weeks. 13,296 hours. 47,865,600 seconds. Most of which you apparently spent in a state of blissful oblivion drinking clamato and playing canasta.
I don't care that you're "remodeling." It took you 18 months to pick out a toilet seat? What are you remodeling? The Pentagon? Did that toilet seat cost $400?
I don't care that you're not "down here" that often. Thank Shiva you're not! You could have returned it at whatever Yankee Wal-Mart is unfortunate enough to get your patronage. Or your truly unfortunate contractor could have. You didn't even buy it at this store. Not that that would make a difference, but at least I can tell you to go try to peddle your sob story at the Wal-Mart across town.
No. That 90-day rule isn't "a new thing." That sign has been there since this store opened. Identical ones hang in the Customer Service counters of pretty much every other Wal-Mart in the United States.
No, leaning real close to me, breathing that old-lady liver-and-onions breath and saying "Well, they've never denied me before" isn't helping. I am the person you are dealing with now. Right now. Not yesterday. Not "before" in this magical land of make-believe. You obviously need to hear the word "NO" more often. Plus a good hard smack across the face.
Seriously. Since January 21, 2006 - you have not once stepped foot inside a Wal-Mart? Not once? I should have returned it as a reward for her being able to hold out against the siren song of the "always low prices."