Friday, May 11, 2007

Stereophonic

Allow me a rant. IF YOU WANT TO RETURN SOMETHING, GET OFF THE D*** PHONE LONG ENOUGH TO TELL ME IF THERE IS ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT.

Por lo mano de Christo, would you want to buy something some other cretin returned while they were yakking away on their cell phone and I ask twice - in two languages - "IS THERE ANYTHING WRONG WITH IT?" - and all I get is a blank stare back?

So this guy rolls up with a stereo unit - it's one of those ones in the red Magnavox boxes if you must know - and yes, we take a lot of those back. (Cheap Korean crap)

He and the girlfriend both have a buggy, but he's totally ignoring her and blathering away in English and Spanish on his cell phone. He's talking about getting a new speaker. He digs a wadded-up receipt out of his pocket, literally throws it on the counter and goes back to hollering into the phone.

I find the stereo system on the receipt and ask him in English if there's anything wrong with the one he has. He gives me a dirty look for interrupting his conversation and then that blank "Me no understand" stare. So I switch to Spanish. Crickets.

I look at the girlfriend, hoping maybe she's wearing the brain cells. No. She's just wearing an unfortunate crop top that shows off her muffin top, a blue-jean skirt and some dirty blonde hair that could have been by design or not having been washed for four days.

I look back at him (who has since returned to jabbering on the phone) and go "IS IT BROKE? NO FUNCIONA?" I swear, I could see the words bounce off.

So then the genius hands me the cell phone. I ask the person on the other end what the story was. "Oh yeah man, it broke. It no make good music."

Thank you. Thank you very frelling much.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Honestly, if I had your job, I think I would gouge my eyes out.

Or something else very painful to end my misery.

I just don't know how you do it and not snap and kill someone.

Anonymous said...

Magnavox is not Korean. Magnavox was founded by Edwin Pridham and Peter L. Jensen in 1915.

You should have asked the customer, "Is it broken?"

It's becoming more & more obvious why you work at Wal-Mart. Do you research anything before writing or just throw out whatever comes to mind? Winning our indepence from Scotland? Bavaria having bargaining markets? (Can you even locate Germany on a map? Did you even know what Bavaria was?) Now Magnavox is Korean?

Jesus, you're as stupid as the people you claim to be so high above. I know your loyal fans will insult this post & rush to your defense, simple minds are often amused by simple writing.

You really have a good thing going here. You just seriously under-cut & undermine yourself when you don't think or don't research before you post.

Anonymous said...

You're right Anonymous I agree with you whole heartedly.

Anonymous said...

It's the 21st century - where a company was founded, where its corporate headquarters is and where its products are manufactured can all be different.

Which is to say "magnavox" and "made in Korea" are not contradictory.

mj said...

Hey dufus, she works there! She said it is Magnavox, she said its crap and they take alot of em back. Humm ,,, sounds Keoran made to me.

FARfetched said...

At least the dork on the phone knew what was going on. The question is, why did he send such a lout to do the return?

Anon#2: first you speak with great authority on a topic on which you apparently have no clue (Magnavox probably slaps their name on Chinese products too, or anything else as long as the margin is high enough), then you intensely nitpick at trivia. Finally, you hit the trifecta by using a person's name as an expletive. I'm impressed!

BTW, I don't have to defend BBC. I just think it's extremely Bad Form to insult someone on their blog. If you don't like what you see, there's a zillion other blogs to read. Hit Next Blog and move on.

yellowdog granny said...

what? you didn't mutter 'pendejo' under your breath?....I woulda'.

Anonymous said...

If someone puts their blog out there, they open themselves up to comments, good & bad. Get over your, 'Ms Manners' rant.

The blogger is MALE! (listen to the interview...quite a good job on that.)

And, um, no. Magnavox isn't Korean any way you look at it, nor did we win our independence from Scotland and there are no markets in Bavaria where you haggle the price.

I stand by what I said. The blogger, who has a good thing going, does a serious discredit to himself with some of the things he writes.

Anonymous said...

Frankly I do not understand these people who do not even have the courtesy to hang up the phone to complete their transaction. What is so damn important that they must have that thing glued to the side of their head.

Karen said...

Oh for God's sake. I am with farfetched on this one. If you don't like/agree with the content of someone's blog, please move on.

As a human being who has worked in customer service (both management and the front lines) for most of my adult life, I enjoy this blog and the comments of the blog's readers.

Have you considered starting your own blog so you can rant about bloggers who don't do their research??

j-yo said...

I get my bread at a local bread outlet store (really good quality stuff at cut-rate prices just because they haven't sold and they're nearing the expiration dates) where a sign is prominently taped to the counter politely informing you that, if you can't get off your damned cell phone for your transaction, you need to move aside and let the next person go. I say thumbs-up to them! It's too bad you can't post a similar sign

Sarah said...

Lighten up!

If you are trying to get an accurate history lesson from this blog, or any other blog for that matter, there is something seriously wrong!

Tyler said...

Some of you kids complain too much. If you're going to get up in arms about something, put your energy towards something productive. Fight world hunger, cancer, or aids or something.

Giving someone a hard time about two words they uses on a blog on one post one day is a waste. The blog is an extension of their thoughts- not a formal news program, not an encyclopedia. All content is op/ed, and is not meant to be construed as fact.

Furthermore, the blog is here for your free entertainment. There's billions of other websites to read, thousands of YouTube clips to watch and hundreds of news article to peruse if you don't like what you see here.

Anonymous said...

Dr. Douche, the world's smartest fuckwad, is at it again. How in the hell do you know that Magnavox isn't made in Korea? You don't, idiot. Go suck a cock, you wish-you-knew-it-all tard. You're just as bad as that fat broad who complained a few months ago. Also, stop reading this blog. Nobody wants you here.

stevestr said...

Why do all the retarded comments on these posts always come from people who hide behind "Anonymous"?

Anonymous said...

I myself work at the Wal-Mart Service Desk. Every day I have at least one customer in the line that can't seem to get off of their cell phone for a mere 2 minutes to be helped. I am not ashamed to say that when they stand there, wasting my time, I call up the person behind them and say, "I'll wait on you while they finish their conversation. How many I help you?"

They get off the phone quick.

Anonymous said...

"Thank you very frelling much."

Nice Farscape reference.