Holidays at the Wal-Mart blow chunks. I've done Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, Black Friday, all the generic xxx Days, Halloween and of course Easter. Retail and food service at the holidays blows chunks.
I did get one - and only one - good laugh today. This ancient woman, dressed in BLACK, bent nearly double and gripping a buggy like it was winning lottery ticket, creeps up, watches me do two or three refunds and then jams her cart in front of a fat lady in a yellow T-shirt with a fatter daughter.
The old lady is looking for grass. "I've got eggs, now I want grass."
ME: "Ma'am, you want to the Easter supplies. You need to go to the jewelry counter and go one aisle up."
HER: "Jewelry? What? That don't make sense."
ME: "Ma'am, I'm trying to tell you how to get there."
HER: "You take me there."
**I sigh and grab her buggy and look back every now and again and go "You still back there?" I have ZERO patience for old ladies who want you to shop for them. Foreign, domestic, it don't matter. You lived how many years? You didn't survive by having people do things for you.**
I take her over to the Seasonal aisle and she's like "Oh, this not very far." DUH! Then she goes "Where's the grass?"
I'm like "It's all along here. There's lots of different kinds." As I'm talking, I'm waking down the aisle with her. "See, this is yellow plastic. This is red and blue paper. This kind comes with candy."
HER: "How much is?"
ME: "See on the box? It tells you? This one is $1.88. This one is $1.97."
HER: "Is too much. No other grass?"
ME: "It is Easter Sunday at 1 p.m. You buying grass now? You having to take what you can be getting." And yes, I did speak in the broken English. She got the point.
HER (clasping her heart): "You killing me." Like I was a shopkeeper in the Old Country bargaining with her! It was so funny. I just wanted a shop and sausages and cheese hanging down from the ceiling and housewives with aprons and baskets bargaining over the price of a chicken.
ME: "More grass here. This one $1.25."
HER: "The children, they will not have the grass."