And no, this is not about Wal-Mart's banking plans. This is about people who confuse "cheap" for affordable, buy it, take it home, then have a crisis of confidence and then bring a buggy full of that crap back to my counter on a Sunday and want me to refund $90 worth of cilantro, tomatoes, cans of corn and other stuff because they can't budget properly. Yes. That's what this is about.
Now I'll do my job. It does tend to require a LITTLE bit of communication on behalf of the customer. Like, DO YOU WANT TO RETURN THAT PILE OF CRAP OR NOT?
Setting a bag of tomatoes on the counter and looking at me isn't really communication in any language. I'm not telepathic. If I were, you'd turn and run. Fast. Very fast. But I digress.
It's a Sunday, so the Service Desk is backed up like a toilet at Yankee Stadium. I've got a line and this guy pushing a cart full of tied off bags of groceries comes up. He starts unloading them onto the counter and I ask him in English if I can help him. I get a blank stare. And then he throws out a receipt from about three hours ago.
I switch to Spanish and he answers me in English - "No speak English." Good lord. A comedian.
I try again and he's like "Return all." My eyes get wide and I'm like "What's wrong with it?" Because I just have to know. And he doesn't want to tell me.
So I drag him out to Number 14 where my girl Lucretia is working. I'm like "Can you ask him what he's doing?" She gives him the third degree in rapid Spanish. I'm following. And I'm like "Ask him why he's returning all that stuff." And he tells us "It's cheaper at the dollar store."
I've had people bring stuff in for price adjustments, or ask us to give them the cheaper price because it was $5 less at Kmart, but food? Food? Wal-Mart is the cheapest food game in town. They killed off Winn-Dixie. That stuff from those discount and off-brand places will kill you too. I'm pretty sure I know what sort of place he's talking about -- and it's like dented cans and stuff retailers have sent back to vendors. Any thoughts there?
So I refunded it. And it came up to about $90. And the man had spilled a jar of strawberry syrup in the bags, so every freaking thing in there was sticky. I just kept scanning, hitting keys and giving him mean looks. Scan, hit keys, mean looks. It was just an entirely pointless exercise.
And for the coup de grace he hauled out a big jug of mayonaise that I KNOW is a Sam's Club item. Which we're not supposed to return. My line was eight people long. I was just like "Frell it" and scanned it. It rang up, so I guess I can defend returning it.
The point of all this is that while I know he has a perfect right to return his children if he has a receipt for them, DID YOU NOT KNOW YOU DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY BEFORE YOU SHOPPED?
You rented those groceries for four hours, took them home and then decided you didn't like them. I fail to see exactly how the budgeting gods "inspired" you in that brief time period. But thank you for your patronage. We'll keep you in mind when we start our chain of Wal-Mart Banks.
People do that with clothes too -- all the time. One woman made me do that with $400 worth of kids clothes once. I don't think she even had kids. She just wanted them. It took me 40 minutes and I was so hacked off by the time the whole ordeal was over because she kept trying to distract me and move the piles of stuff around. If you can't afford to shop, keep your hands in your pockets!