Friday, March 02, 2007

Grills for gramps

I hope I never get old. I want to be one of those old people who drive a red convertible and swoop in to take their nieces and nephews on trips or to the fair.

So it figures that I get the contrary old man who comes in all upset about how crappy the grill is that he ordered at Wal-Mart. Dude, you got it at Wal-Mart. Right there, that's your first and biggest mistake. And in another twist, he even paid the extra $25 for Wal-Mart to assemble the grill, and it still started falling apart within a week. Don't get anything assembled at Wal-Mart unless you're planning an explosion or a demolition derby!

Anyway. He's all hot under the collar and is screaming so much that I can't make out what his problem is. The wife is this tiny woman who's yanking on his sleeve screeching at him to "Calm down, calm down!" and "Remember your heart, remember your heart!" Umm, you don't need to be doing the scorched red meat thing with cardio issues!

When they both get it together, it turns out they want Wal-Mart to come to their house and pick up the grill and bring it back to the store, since it is Wal-Mart's fault the grill is junk. I'm like "I'm very sorry sir, but we don't do that. We don't provide transport to or from the store."

Which sets off another round of hysterics. (I still don't know how the grill got FROM the store or BACK to the store later in the afternoon.) And of course they want a manager. Who tells them the same thing. And they leave.

And two hours later, old guy shows up pushing a grill hood on one of the green push-carts from the garden center. I look at the grill hood and then at him. "Hi, what can I do for you?"

He's all chirpy now. "I want to return this grill."

I'm like "Where's the rest of it?" He goes "Out in the Garden Center."

So apparently he had someone bring it back for him, and instead of coming in one of the two main doors, they dumped it off right inside the Garden Door. I looked at him with a sort of "You've got to be crazy look," and decided right then that yep, he was a loon.

I returned the grill and then as he was about to leave, said "Sir, please let me go back out with you to put the defect tag on that grill."

I just had to see this grill. Sure enough. It was sitting right inside the Garden Center door, holding up the Garden Center greeter and missing one wheel and the hood. I still don't know why he couldn't have brought it in one of the main doors. I stuck a defect tag on it and ran, because all the people in Garden were looking at me like they wanted to ask me questions.

The only thing I know about plants is to not water a cactus too much or it will die.


grundes said...

I still have a Walmart grill I've bought 5 or 6 years ago... But it's basically a metal bowl with legs, nothing to break there.
Oh, and I only use it about once a year, so may be that is the reason it's still in once piece.

So with some thoughtful approach, Walmart stuff can be very durable ;)

Anonymous said...

That's a myth about cacti - they like about as much water as any other plant, especially since they do best in very well draining substrate. They need to be watered fully, until water comes out of the bottom of the pot, but only at certain times of year. As their climates benefit from seasonal monsoons in most places, it means they usually have a very dry winter, and will die if watered like in the summer. You'd still want to water fully, but only every couple weeks or so. People tend to kill cacti when they pour 4 drops into the pot, thinking they get 'very little rain'. They get downpours, just not that often.

Wow, that turned long.

Ryan said...

I just learned about walmart grill assembly and how to properly water my cactuses. Or even Cacti.

I have a grill from walmart that I bought to take the burner out of. The burner works great.

No, I won't be returning it when I am through with the burner part.

Anonymous said...

If you change your mind and decide to return it, be sure to go to the Florida store since their managers appear to be more stupid than mine. For that matter, you probably wouldn't need to even give up the burner you removed -- just tell them it came without and how you are going to tell everyone you know about it; unless they give you your money back that is.


FARfetched said...

Scary Garden section!

Daughter Dearest’s boyfriend is working garden at Home Despot now. We're all hoping they keep him on after May, when they can all the seasonal workers (Spring at Home Depot is like Christmas everywhere else) and many of the part-timers.

Good point about the meat and cardio issues. I've cut way back on meat in general, and it's helped a lot with BP & cholesterol. Going full vegetarian would be difficult, but that probably isn't necessary anyway. All things in moderation. Except blogging. More! More! :-D

Anonymous said...

Walmart employees and their customers and so similiar in intelligence levels, it's hilarious to hear them call each other idiots. It's like watching two special ed kids fight over who's more retarded because one can read at a second grade level and the other can only read at a first grade level.

michelle said...

And watching cowardly anonymous commenters lob ignorant insults while making grammatical errors is even *more* entertaining! Love this blog!

Adrienne, formerly anonymous and cowardly said...

Hi Michelle, who is not anonymous with her first name and no link.

Specifically, it's a split infinitive.

If you had paid more attention in high school, you would know not to start your sentences with a conjunction. If you had common sense, you would realize that doing so in a sentence intended to point out someone else's grammatical error makes you look not only pretentious, but stupid as well.

Lucky for you (and me at this point) no one here knows the difference between being mean and being intelligent. All you have to do is say, "AHAHAaahhh11!!1 You're stupid! Sterilize you! I say you're stupid first, so I smart!"

How could anyone not love this blog?

Ol' Lady said...

my question is...did he get the $25 back for Wal Mart not to assemble the grill :)

Anonymous said...

Worked for Wal-Mart, never charged for assembly of grills, bikes, etc. Actually, advertised "Free Assembly" on the price flags on grills. These flags came from home office. Who's pocketing the $25, and how's that rung up?