I hope I never get old. I want to be one of those old people who drive a red convertible and swoop in to take their nieces and nephews on trips or to the fair.
So it figures that I get the contrary old man who comes in all upset about how crappy the grill is that he ordered at Wal-Mart. Dude, you got it at Wal-Mart. Right there, that's your first and biggest mistake. And in another twist, he even paid the extra $25 for Wal-Mart to assemble the grill, and it still started falling apart within a week. Don't get anything assembled at Wal-Mart unless you're planning an explosion or a demolition derby!
Anyway. He's all hot under the collar and is screaming so much that I can't make out what his problem is. The wife is this tiny woman who's yanking on his sleeve screeching at him to "Calm down, calm down!" and "Remember your heart, remember your heart!" Umm, you don't need to be doing the scorched red meat thing with cardio issues!
When they both get it together, it turns out they want Wal-Mart to come to their house and pick up the grill and bring it back to the store, since it is Wal-Mart's fault the grill is junk. I'm like "I'm very sorry sir, but we don't do that. We don't provide transport to or from the store."
Which sets off another round of hysterics. (I still don't know how the grill got FROM the store or BACK to the store later in the afternoon.) And of course they want a manager. Who tells them the same thing. And they leave.
And two hours later, old guy shows up pushing a grill hood on one of the green push-carts from the garden center. I look at the grill hood and then at him. "Hi, what can I do for you?"
He's all chirpy now. "I want to return this grill."
I'm like "Where's the rest of it?" He goes "Out in the Garden Center."
So apparently he had someone bring it back for him, and instead of coming in one of the two main doors, they dumped it off right inside the Garden Door. I looked at him with a sort of "You've got to be crazy look," and decided right then that yep, he was a loon.
I returned the grill and then as he was about to leave, said "Sir, please let me go back out with you to put the defect tag on that grill."
I just had to see this grill. Sure enough. It was sitting right inside the Garden Center door, holding up the Garden Center greeter and missing one wheel and the hood. I still don't know why he couldn't have brought it in one of the main doors. I stuck a defect tag on it and ran, because all the people in Garden were looking at me like they wanted to ask me questions.
The only thing I know about plants is to not water a cactus too much or it will die.