Sunday, February 11, 2007

Run Diego, run

UPDATED: This is the exact pillow she was trying to return. For the love of Shiva, I admit that I was wrong. Wal-Mart does carry this stuff. HOWEVER. This particular pillow - AND ALL OTHER DIEGO MERCHANDISE - IS NOT carried at my store. She had ripped off the tags and did not have a receipt. The pillow was NOT in our computer.

So really. If you're running a business and a customer brings in an item of unknown origin and claims to have purchased it at your store -- but yet can produce no proof that they purchased it there -- and you have no other products like that -- would you give them merchandise or credit?

I'm not always right. Maybe I should have taken the stupid pillow back. I don't know. Is it really worth it for what I get paid?
It was just a craptastic day this Sunday at the Wal-Mart. I don't know if it was that everyone was angry that Valentine's Day was coming up and they were alone, or if they just all decided to make my life even more miserable than it already is.

Because Sundays at a Wal-Mart SuperCenter are just the worst possible place on Earth to be, I always have to work Sunday nights. As soon as I got back from my lunch, they threw the other girl on a register and left me alone at the Service Desk -- FOR FOUR AND A HALF HOURS. I was so hating humanity. Customers kept moaning about the lines. That's what you get for shopping on Sunday night. Don't come back soon, you hear. Anyway.

If you do not have any money, please do not try to bring your daughter's "Diego" bed pillows and comforter into the Wal-Mart and return them for cash. One, you will not get cash. Two, don't claim "these was a gift" in bad English to try and explain why there aren't any tags on them. Three, don't bring up a set of Dora the Explorer sheets and tell me "This the same price."

I really don't care if it is the same price. I can look in the computer and see that our Wal-Mart does not carry the Diego line of bed products. So I tell this woman this and all hell breaks loose.

This woman was ghetto. Purple tights, leopard print top, inch-long gold and red nails that could put any tiger to shame, a blinged-out cell phone -- you get the picture. Don't forget the flip-flops. She had a good weave too. She was spending some money on her upkeep. Her command of the English language was atrocious though.

ME: "Ma'am, our store does not carry any Diego sheets, pillows or comforters. Unless you find the receipt, you can't return those items."
HER: "What you mean?"
ME: "Ma'am, we don't sell this stuff at this store."
HER: "My mama bought this stuff here."
ME: "Does she have a receipt?"
HER: "Hold on. I gots to call her." And she whips out the phone and starts callling. When the woman behind her tries to get around her to get to the register, she bricks her with her hand and goes "Hold up. I'm ain't through yet." It was a SIGHT!

She was yelling into the phone "Put Mama on here." "Where you bought them Diego pillows and stuff at? They saying that I can't get no money back on it. Well, I at the Wal-Mart. Don't you gots the receipt?"

So she gets off the phone and now she wants to exchange all the Diego stuff for Dora stuff. I guess she figures she'll just take the Dora stuff to another Wal-Mart and get either cash or credit for it. But I won't let her.

HER: "What you mean? I done told you my mama bought it here?"
ME: "Ma'am, unless you have a receipt, we can't return this merchandise."
HER: "Well, I want a manager. I'm gonna return this stuff tonight."

They don't let her return it -- BECAUSE WE DO NOT CARRY DIEGO MERCHANDISE.

Even the idiot assistant managers know that they can't return merchandise Wal-Mart does not sell!


Bob Johnson said...

Great blog. I have put it on my site, with a voting poll, so that my readers can rate you.

Anonymous said...

Your manager is an "idiot"?

I'm certain that you couldn't last two hours in his/her shoes; CERTAIN.

You couldn't handle it. It's easy for you to B and moan behind your pigeon-holed counter job. You have no buisiness talking outside the counter.

Keep it behind the counter where you are all safe and warm; where it's all written down for you; where all your answer posibilities are scripted mulitple choice or yes/no -until you have to call a manger to think outside the counter for you.

Obviously there is a reason why your independent business
desisions aren't needed.

Point is, stay inside your box/counter and don't be dissrespecting the people charged with doing your thinking for you. Leave the independent thought to managers. Hey, it's their job. Somebody has to do it.


Ryan said...

I would guess that if the "manager" had any balls - he would have left a REAL name instead of using anonymous. How cowardly. Rant and rave and not have the spine to stand up and rebuttal.

I liked your blog - it's real, and quite funny. I came here from Another Mans Poison.

I'll be back!

Anonymous said...

WAAAAHHH!!!! My name is jess the manager, and I got my manager feelings hurt by a blog! WAHHHH!!!!

please notice that i am the manager of whining, and not the manager of spelling.

"buisiness" "manger" "desisions"
"dissrespecting" "posibilities"


ALSO - Excellent job on using "B" to take the place of a word mom won't let you use.

Anonymous said...

Ryan, get use to anons/Jess's idiotic rants.

Manager...I think not!

This fools sporadic posts scream "I FINALLY was able to refill my pyschotropic prescription".

Jess tries to make this blogger feel inadequate via their unintelligible thoughts and incomplete, misspelled sentences.

They have not grasped the fact that this blog is highly entertaining and humorous for the
FANS of BTC followers!

The only thing they "manage" to do is bring attention to the fact that they are 98 cents short of a buck!

Rob the Webkahunah said...

Y'all are missing the obvious... Jess , if he truly is a manager, is a product of the "promote the stupid ones to where they can do the least damage" philosophy.

Though, it would crack me up if this moron was a manager at wal-mart...

Anonymous said...

The part about this post that struck me the most is the customers primitive grasp of the English language.

How on earth someone makes it through life talking like this woman did is beyond me.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

Stupid cut off addresses. Those were all links to the Diego line of bedding at Walmart. Go to and search for "Diego" under the home section. You'll see a very nice sheet, comforter, pillow, hell--even a bed.

FARfetched said...

Anon-just-previous, just because sells an item doesn't mean every brick&mortar WalMart carries it. Otherwise, I would have bought one of those Linux-based systems when they were in the stores. ;-) There are also minor differences from store to store, depending on what moves. I've seen stuff at one WalMart that another 25 miles away doesn't carry.

Chances are, "mama" bought the linens at a different WalMart and either forgot which one or ASSumed that they're all the same.

MavenofMoxie said...

This woman was ghetto. Purple tights, leopard print top, inch-long gold and red nails that could put any tiger to shame, a blinged-out cell phone -- you get the picture. Don't forget the flip-flops. She had a good weave too. She was spending some money on her upkeep. Her command of the English language was atrocious though.

TOTALLY 80's, minus the cell phone!
LOLOL I'm going to die one day reading your blog, die from laughter... fits of screaming, howling, tear-filled laughter.

'Jess', the alleged manager (rolling my eyes) was only offended because you outed her Valentine's Day outfit that she planned on wearing to meet her 'mysterious' Moroccan internet lover. Ya know, the one she's been sending all her Wally World pay checks to for the last year so he could come on over for a date? Do they make purple tights in size 20xx, Jess?

We can tell from the spelling'Jess' uses in her post that she's not writing any of those managerial scripts for those underlings in her store that work the CS Desk. The blogger is, 'safe and warm' behind the counter? How so? If you're going to make an argument, at least make a modicrum of sense, you fat stupid heifer!

Anonymous said...


How about you leave your REAL name? I know why. Because you don't have the "dice" to leave a real name.

Lot's of assumptions flying around in here. I'm a manager? Cool.

I'm a "she/her"? Cool, again.

I call 'em as I see 'em. That means:I point out the truth as it appears to me while you all are/where looking at something else. I reckon i'd best 'xplain that for them of you who gots problems with phonics and figuring out words and concepts what ain't been spelled out rightly so as you all been used to seein' 'em on the insides of your boxes. Comprende?

That's why you're in your boxes and staying there. We don't want you out here.

Sit. Stay... Stay... GOOD!


MavenofMoxie said...

where looking at something else.

'Jess', Umm....don't you mean WERE??? Where is a place & makes no sense in that context.

Manager at Wal-Mart? Is that the crowning acheivement of your life? We laugh, at your expense, Thank You! You are only illustrating Rob's point too clearly.
Jess , if he truly is a manager, is a product of the "promote the stupid ones to where they can do the least damage" philosophy.

The owner of this blog does not need a management position at Wal-Mart as he/she has a, 'real' job. What's that? Fresh fried chicken at the deli? Run Jess, run!

MavenofMoxie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MavenofMoxie said...


I reckon i'd best 'xplain that for them of you who gots problems with phonics and figuring out words and concepts what ain't been spelled out rightly so as you all been used to seein' 'em on the insides of your boxes. Comprende?

Some people still value the English language for its beauty in an unadulterated form. In other words, while we are ALL perfectly capable of discerning Redneck-ease, Ebonics and the like, why should we? Why should we just accept the conitinuation of the dumbing-down of America? Why should I find it acceptable that more & more Americans can only read, speak and write on a fifth grade level?

I don't find it acceptable and regardless of whether or not I can understand them, I won't lower my standards nor will I ever concede that out-right stupidty and ignorance are okay.

You go right ahead and be happy with the less-than-average customer and human being. I am not. Ignorance and stupidity have succeeded long enough in this country. It's time the fat sows like you shut your pie hole with some fat-laden food and allow the Intelligencia to demand higher standards from porcine members of society such as yourself.

(this is the deleted post..sorry for 'net problems :-) )

Bob Johnson said...

vkpryDear Anonymous,

If you can't catch, don't pitch. Firing verbal salvos from a place of concealment....that's kinda like terrorism, ain't it?

Anonymous said...

LOL@ mav.

Proof reading really is an artform, isn't it?


Anonymous said...

ummm....Jess...sorry to burst your "bubble" but BBC has another job, that is why he/she most likely does not need a manager position at Walmart. Oh and yeahhhh, again, to the bursting, I wouldn't particularly voice that you are a manager at Wal-Mart. It's not something I would be proud of, nor critisize someone over. Read the, where this blog is'll see what I mean. They have a whole "section" of Walmart posts. Again, manager at Walmart = nothing. Comprende?


Anonymous said...

Oh, and forgot to mention...the acclaim that this blog has received, not to mention the author has received, definitely trumps any "manager" position you might have acquired at WALMART, nonetheless. I don't even have a blogger account, but have linked to this blog via So, please, please PLEASE don't critisize BBC about her opinions on just makes you look ridiculous.


Anonymous said...

LOL @ this blogs "aclaim". The, was it? "Featured"? WOW. Shut my mouth!They feture her poor proofreeading? You reckon more than six people, you included, ever heard of that place? Really, Who'd o' thunk?

Never said she wanted to be a manager. I said she would fold inside of two hours if faced with making desisions that weren't scripted in a manual somewhere. That's all. She's not management material. I can see she's comfortable with that.

I once killed a squirrel with a rock. Uh-hu. I did, I tell you. I did!

Shut up.


Anonymous said...

You've got some balls coming on here saying that only six people, including me, have heard of The Consumerist. Are you kidding me?? Why don't you speak to Ben Popken or Meghann Marco on how many people REALLY DO read The Consumerist, before you assume that because you haven't nobody else has. And, come to think about it, I'm sure your higher ups there at the ol' Wally World know EXACTLY how many people read The Consumerist. And not "management material"? AT WALMART? Come on...that in and of itself is a joke. And, seriously, please PLEASE do not make fun of her proofreading skills. You yourself are no expert. "Feture" seriously? "Aclaim" ?? Wow...

pot meet kettle.


Anonymous said...

Oh and excuse me, its Look it up, you might be surprised.


Anonymous said...

Hey. Proof reading skills? Pffftt. I'm not the one writing an "acclaimed" web log, now am I?

I googled consumerist magazine. Hmmm.. seems I was wrong. At least 24 people have heard of it. Uh-hu. Who'd o' thunk? My bad.


Anonymous said...

It's not a magazine, you's Not that hard...just go to the little address line at the top of your screen, type in And you ARE the one critisizing an ACCLAIMED blog on their proofreading skills. One would think the person critisizing would atleast have those skills he's chastising the author about. Apparently not the case.

Anonymous said...

Again, I laugh. LOL.

Let's start with "acclaim". Laugh. Laugh. Laugh(ing out loud.)

Now, let's move on to proofreading skills. Laugh. Laugh. Laugh(ing at you.)

Who's stupid now, atleast? Huh?

Go back to sleep.