Tuesday, February 27, 2007

MC Dirty Pants

Some people will try anything once. Sometimes the "jokers" will try little scams just to see what you will fall for. I had a woman earlier this week want "a discount" on a photo album "because the cover is scuffed and this is the last one."

Umm, it's faux suede. It's supposed to look that way.

But I didn't argue. I gave her ten percent off because she's just going to go manager shopping until she gets what she wants. And the couple that asked "Can we get a discount on this can opener because this box was opened?"

Umm, you probably opened the box, didn't you. That's right. I hope that dollar and fifty-seven cents is worth it. But I didn't argue. I'm not the one who shall judge. Shiva is all-knowing.

But anyway. This ghetto dude rolls up totally working the gold teeth and bling attitude. He's got on more jewelry than most popes and cardinals put together. Still, the look is totally ruined once he opens his mouth. "I'ma gonna return these. I wants these pants." And I get a 24-karat smile.

"Okay sir. Do you have a receipt?"

He fishes one out. It's wet, either with rain, perspiration or I-don't-want-to-know-what. I probably don't.

I start to return the pants he doesn't want. And he interrupts to by waving the pair he DOES want and goes "I better get a discount on these. They is dirty. Look."

I go to take them to look at the "dirt" and he pulls them away from me. I grab again and he yanks them from me again. I finally stop, say "Sir, I need to see if they are damaged or defective. If they are damaged, I can't sell them to you." He hands them over grudgingly.

I'm like "Sir, this is lint, see. It brushes right off. And this is a loose thread. These aren't dirty."

And he tries to yank the pants out of my hands again to show me the "dirt" on the pants.

"They dirty. I just seen it. I wants a discount."

I'm like "Sir, we're not going to discount these pants. If they are defective, we can send them back to the manufacturer and get a full refund. Now, do you want these or do you want to go look for another pair that doesn't have anything wrong with it?"

He goes, "Naw, dawg. Gimme them pair." I finish the exchange.

Some people will try anything once. Anything. Just to see if they can get away with it. Anything.

13 comments:

paulo said...

Isn't the whole point of blinging out your mouth to let people know you have money to waste? If I could afford a mouth full of gold, I'd buy damaged goods at full price, just to let people know I don't have to watch my pennies.

hockeyfrog said...

I'm thinking more that if he's got that much bling going on, why is he buying pants at Wal-mart?

Anonymous said...

yer a predjudical douche, yo

Library Rat said...

Dude probably got spinner rims on his little Ford Fiesta...

FARfetched said...

Hockeyfrog, I had the same thought!

yellowdog granny said...

If I had your job I would have 3 scrips for paxil...with 3 refills on each one..

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

I don't understand -- ha! -- why these people want to buy damaged items anyway even if there's a 10 percent discount (and I'm a penny pincher and coupon clipper.)

I'm the kind of person who has to reach in the way back of the shelf for a package that hasn't been touched because of all the germs contaminating the one in the front!

And if the ONLY package left on the shelf is damaged or open, I just leave it behind because there's NO way I would buy anything that has been opened. Not even if it was practically free.

HELLO! Don't they know open packages equal "PREVIOUS RETURN"? Then they will get home and think "Gee, I wonder if someone else used this and returned it and that's why the package is open, so maybe I should return it." So then said item will become Previous Return RETURNED AGAIN.

Anonymous said...

An opened package does not necessarily mean the item has already been returned. Customers like to open packages to get a better look at the merchandise before they buy it. They then put the opened package back, grab another that's unopened, and purchase that one. Or some try the "I-found-this-opened-can-I-get-a-discount?"-scam after deliberately tampering with the product. In my store, we don't give discounts on opened packaging THAT'S GOING TO BE THROWN AWAY ANYWAY when there is absolutely nothing wrong with the product.

MavenofMoxie said...

Wow! I find it amazing that retelling a story of someone "blinged" out and speaking in Ebonics makes you "prejudicial" but quoting Redneck doesn't make you "prejudicial", nor does disliking, "women of a certain age". Since you never mentioned the color of this customer, Anonymous has taken it upon his/herself to ASSume and infer the race. So there are no white people with blinged out teeth and jewelry that try to get discounts and scam people? No Hispanics or Asians that do this? Who's "prejudicial" now, Anon?

Some people just look to scream, 'racism' at every chance they get. Pay no attention to the Anonymous Fucktard behind the curtain. Especially when they use such annoying 'words' as, "yer".

I'd have slapped that damn bling out of his teeth and told him to go go to Rugged Wearhouse. Unbelievable.

grundes said...

May be he won the gold teeth at a lottery or something.
Or his cousin has a gold-plating salon and done his teeth for advertising purposes.

Anonymous said...

Maven...you are SO awesome!

"ASSume and infer"...no shit, especially when considering blog God has never mentioned his own nationality/race!

franksparrow said...

A friend of mine just emailed me you blog link. It's hilarious, mostly because it's true. (I worked for many, many years there.)

Anonymous said...

MavenofMoxie, you are a fucking twit. I never said racist. I said prejudiced. He prejudges people. Old ladies, rednecks and this fella.

Shut up.