Saturday, January 06, 2007

In a pickle

Now really, I understand that customers are idiots. Really, I do. After all, they're shopping at the Wal-Mart when there's at least ten Publix stores, two Super Targets, some Albertsons, some Winn-Dixie's (still in business) and even some new Sweetbay stores within 20 miles of where I work. If you want good groceries, go somewhere else.

So really, how is MY FAULT when you buy a huge jar of pickles, put it in the trunk of your car with your other groceries, then forget to take it out with the rest of your groceries, go Up North for three weeks to visit your precious darling grandchildren (probably howler monkeys in disguise) and then come home to find that the contents of the jar of pickles YOU left in the trunk of YOUR car have exploded in the heat while you left the car parked at the airport?

So please, DO NOT come inside the Wal-Mart with the cracked glass jar of pickles, which is now dripping pickle juice all over the place, and set the mess on my counter. WOULD YOU DO THIS IN YOUR OWN HOUSE?

Really, would you?

And what did this "gentleman" say after I gave him a look to melt brass? "We left this jar of pickles in the trunk of the car and it busted. We want a new one. Can I go get it now?"

He didn't even care that I was grabbing a huge roll of paper towels and trying to get a few off to set down under the pickle-juicy-mess. He didn't care that I was trying to keep the counter clean for the 300 other returns I had to do that day. He really didn't care that he was a pig of the highest order. And he really didn't care that he was an idiot.

All he cared about was that Wal-Mart owed him for a new jar of $2.97 pickles. Although he had destroyed the first jar by leaving it in the trunk of his car for three weeks in the heat. How this is Wal-Mart's fault I have yet to figure out.

I made him lift the jar off the counter while I put a wad of paper towels under it. Then I made him hold it while I fished out a few used bags to put the broken glass in. I could still smell the rancid pickle juice five hours later. Yech.


Anonymous said...

The killer is I'll bet this asshole was allowed to get another jar of pickles.

CoderForChrist said...

As anon alluded to, did he get the jar of pickles? I mean, common sense would dictate, "This is an ESO [equipment superior to operator] problem; no return." However, you have already shown us, in so many ways, that common sense and policy are opposites...

t said...

hi there, I just wanted to let you know that I've really enjoyed reading your blog. I don't work in retail any longer, and I don't shop at your store, but the stories give me a greater appreciation for what goes on there, and especially for the employees with incredible skills of patience and self-control in the face of complete madness.

also, this post reminded me of the Vlasic pickle article I read a few years ago (One of the first eye-openers I had to the stores wacky business maneuvers):

anyway, keep up the good work, and I echo the book sentiment!

Carmen said...

Unbelieveable. Now who in thier right mind would actually do that?