As I've said before, working at Customer Service is a bit like working in the eye of a hurricane. You try to be calm while chaos is whirling all around you — and you have to approach the job with a problem-solving attitude — because lord knows none of the other idiots working at my store will try to help.
Even though the bank is less than ten feet from Customer Service and that a logical place for an ATM machine is RIGHT BY A FREAKING BANK and that there is a huge sign that says ATM and another huge sign that says BANK, people come up to me all the time and go "where's the ATM?" Sigh.
So when these two middle-aged white people walk up and ask where the ATM is, I do my best to make them feel stupid and say "It's just outside here between Customer Service and the bank under the big sign that says ATM." They leave.
And they're right back ten minutes later clutching one of the bank deposit envelopes and complaining.
THEM: "There's something wrong with this ATM."
ME: "Um, okay. That really belongs to the bank but let me see if I can help you."
THEM: "Is it not taking deposits today?"
ME: "Um, not that I know of. Do you have an envelope and your debit card?"
THEM: "We have an envelope. We're trying to put a check in to get money out of our bank in Ohio."
ME: "Um, which bank in Ohio are you trying to get money out of?" Because the bank in the Wal-Mart is a strictly local concern. Ten or twelve branches, tops. There is FOR SURE not one in Ohio.
THEM: "First National Credit of Ohio."
ME: "Um, you can only deposit at this bank's ATM if you have an account here. I'm pretty sure that's how ATM's everywhere work unless your bank has a relationship with another bank. I don't think you're going to be able to deposit that check." WHICH YOU SHOULD HAVE REALIZED WHEN IT DID NOT GIVE YOU THE OPTION TO "MAKE DEPOSIT"
THEM: "Then how can we get this money from this check?"
ME: "Um, let me see the check?" Predictably, it was a personal check.
ME: "Well, it's drawn on Bank of America, so Bank of America might cash it for you. But I don't know. Here's a phone book."
They look up A number and address for a Bank of America and leave. But really, if it was so important, wouldn't you cash or deposit the check before you left home, or do your banking at some place with branches where you live in the summer and the winter? And how do you get to be 45 and now KNOW HOW A FREAKING ATM WORKS?