Monday, April 17, 2006

He can cry or he can burn

Sunday night was crazy. I don't understand the people who recreationally shop on a holiday, much less a family holiday such as Easter. I certainly don't understand how such a holiday seems to bring out the very worst of humanity.

This man brings up a child's toy. It is a Mickey Mouse doll that when you push a button on the hand it makes noise, sings, whatever. It doesn't work and he wants a new one. I can tell from the receipt that they had problems selling him the first one. There is no SKU number or merchandise number, just TOYSSSSS typed in and a price.

So I scan the thing and sure enough, it is on recall. I look in the recall book and it says that the wiring in these things can catch fire and burn up.

I tell the man that, that I can refund the first doll but that he can't get another one. He isn't having that. As near as I can remember, this is our conversation.

ME: "Sir, this toy is on recall. We can't sell you another one."
HIM: "I want it."
ME: "Sir, you can't have it. It is AGAINST THE LAW for me to sell it to you. It is on recall and is dangerous."
HIM: "I don't care. I want it."
ME: "Sir, you can't have it."
HIM: "Then why could I get it last night?"
ME: (and what I wanted to say was that you were a) stupid for not getting a toy that worked, and b) lucky that you got a stupid cashier "Sir, it can catch on fire. Do you understand that."
HIM: "The kid is crying. I want it."

We went on like this for about three more minutes. I tried to communicate the fact that THE TOY CAUGHT ON FIRE. All he seemed to care about was that the kid was crying for the toy and that I seemed to be heartless for denying the kid the toy.

ME: "Well, who is the parent here?"
HIM: He just shrugged, and then goes "I want a manager."

At that point, I really didn't care. I hoped the little brat burns up in an inferno and takes the parents with him. I took the tags off, took the twisters off, and then shook the doll in the man's face. Then I decided to really be mean and hope to shame him in front of the 15 other people in line at Customer Service and maybe that would make him do the right thing. Ha!

ME: "Sir, do you understand that you are going to get something THAT CAN CATCH ON FIRE AND BURN YOUR BABY UP?" "Do you understand that this toy has been recalled BECAUSE IT IS DANGEROUS AND NOT SAFE?" "I want you to understand that this toy is NOT SAFE FOR CHILDREN."
HIM: "But the boy is crying."
ME: "Well, he can cry or he can burn." "Here's your toy. Have a good night sir."

The three women behind him just stood there open-mouthed the entire time.


X. Dell said...

Towards the end, you asked the most important question: Who is the parent, here?

Things are tough enough on parents generally. I think parents have it harder now then our parents. We used to grieve with a parent if an accident befell their child. Nowadays we find the parent guilty of a crime and lock them up in jail.

I guess you would say they deserve it. Maybe this guy deserves some kind of sanction for buying the defective doll(despite what you wrote, I know you're really crossing your fingers in hopes that it doesn't happen). But with the number of choices parents have to make, and the pressure that spouses put on each other regarding children, the pressures that parents put on other parents, etc., I'm not surprised that the whole thing can turn out as topsy-turvy as the situation you describe here.

You say you live Walmart days and Walmart nights. I hope that you find some days and nights of your very own in the future.

And I can really appreciate where you're coming from in your observations on freedom.

Kat said...

And if it does catch fire, you'd better believe he'll sue the manufacturer, and then he'll still sue Wal-Mart for selling it to him.

Anonymous said...

freaking hilarious! I love this blog. As a fellow service worker, I can relate.