Saturday, March 25, 2006

I don't write checks here - I only bouce them

This woman comes up with her kid and wants to exchange the daughter's jeans. She got the kid a size 8 regular and the daughter needed an 8 tall.

She didn't have a receipt, so I asked for her driver license.

What we do in cases like this, or at least what we're supposed to do, is put the item they're return on a gift card, then use whatever store credit they have to pay for the new item. This is so that if they have money left over, they don't get cash back then they returned an item without a receipt. Plus, the receipt she does get for the new item will show SHOP CARD TENDER, so she can't return that one for cash either.

Anyway, once I punch in her driver license, it comes up UNABLE TO PROCESS, CHECK ON FILE. What this means is that she has written a bad check at a Wal-Mart. That's a big no-no. Once you've done that, you can only return items with receipts. And you can only pay by cash, credit or debit.

I lower my voice so as to try not to embarrass her and tell her I can't process the refund. She gets angry, demands to know why I can't, then proceeds to tell me that she "doesn't even write checks here." Well you obviously wrote at least one.

"You can't just let me have the new jeans?" Well, no. They're not the same thing. It doesn't matter that they cost the same. You're returning one item and purchasing another. That's what an "exchange" is. I'd like to kill the person who came up with the expression "even exchange."

Anyway. She gets all angry and wants to talk to a supervisor. Fortunately one comes up. They have all been told NOT to override this particular situation. She goes up another notch. So I have the accounting office check to see if her check was written at this store.

The girl from accounting verifies that it was at our store. This really sets her off. She starts raving about how someone has stolen her identity, how all she wanted to do was exchange her daughter's pants and how we're making a huge deal out of nothing. The girl from accounting brings out the check.

Wait for it ...

It was her check. Her BUSINESS CHECK. Yes. She bounced her business check. So she wants to take care of it. The girl from accounting tells her how much it is. And the woman wants to write another check to cover the first bounced check!

No. Accounting explains that it must be paid in cash. The woman walks away fast, to get to the ATM; Accounting tries to stop her, then tells her "Ma'am, you also have to pay the returned check fee."

This REALLY sets the woman off. She turns around and give Accounting a nasty look, like "How dare you spread my business around here?" No mind that everyone had heard her cussing up a storm at ME and screaming on the phone to her husband that someone had stolen her identity about her having a returned check at Wal-Mart. Get a grip witch.

After all this is over and she pays the check, she tries to cut in line to return the first pair of pants ...

Some people. Never learn. I hope she got a flat on the way home. And her cell phone battery died.


Anonymous said...

I love it when they ask their friend to use their ID to "override" the system when they bounced a check with us.

Fourthwheel said...

I mentioned in a previous comment on another post that my license showed up as bouncing a check. Someone else used it though or a cashier punched it in as a typo, but whoever that other person was, their check bounced. They didn't have my permission, but I can see where some scammers would try that as anonymous says. The number could have been keyed in by mistake, or it could have been an unscrupulous employee. Either way, it sucked pretty bad. Maybe I was on a list somewhere of licenses that would pass. Either way, check bouncers should have their junk pounded flat with a rubber hammer. :-)