How 'bout some compression hose for your mouth?

Sundays are always busy. There has NEVER been an exception. And somedays, people seem to take the Lord's Day to act like complete fools.

All three of us are working at top speed trying to deal with the avalanche of customers that's hitting us around 2 p.m. on Sunday afternoon. This woman cuts in line and sticks her nose in while I'm trying to help a man do a MoneyGram.

She doesn't even wait for me to say "One moment, ma'am." She just blurts out "Do you sell compression hose?"

The noise level from all the people talking and this one screaming child (dear God, leave it at home if you can't control it) is deafening, so I ask her to repeat what she asked for. She gives me one of those "ARE YOU STUPID?" looks and says "Compression hose - you wear it on a plane."

I tell her honestly that I don't know and that I've never returned one. If we do sell it, it will be in the Pharmacy, which is open until 6 p.m. And I tell her that the Pharmacy is just past Register 23.

She moves in closer, then barks. "I want you to call up and ask if they have it."

Now, I try not to sigh at this, because I can tell that this witch would have me fired for "not helping her." So I call. They tell me what's up.

I get off the phone and tell her this. "Ma'am, they have a very small selection. It is on a display rack right next to the pharmacy window."

That wasn't good enough for her. She fires back. "Why didn't you ask them what brands they had and which sizes?"

I give up at this point, and make a passive-aggressive move to get her to go away. "Ma'am, do you need me to repeat the directions to the pharmacy?"

She finally realizes that I won't be bullied into doing her shopping for her and leaves. F****** Witch.