Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Um, you're not Paris Hilton!

ME: Ma'am, could you take your dog outside?
HER: Really nasty look in my direction.
HER: Starts slovenly walking with her wanna-be-upscale white-trash friend back into the clothing again. IN THE OPPOSITE DIRECTION OF THE DOOR!
ME: Ma'am, could you please take your animal outside?
HER: I bet if I was Paris Hilton you wouldn't say that to me!
ME: Ma'am, it is a health and safety issue, we do sell food here. Could I please have you remove your animal?
HER: Another really nasty look, then a "hrrumph" sound, a hair flip, a hairpin turn on her flip-flips and she slouches toward the door.
ME: I have to follow the heifer, because you just know she'll try to sneak back in. She does. She sneaks a peek to see if I'm watching. I am. Stupid cow.

And I ask the door greeter: "Did you see that dog?" The door greeter goes: "Yes, but it was in her handbag." AAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHH!

4 comments:

Biff the Whiff said...

Yu oshould have told her to leave because there are no cows allowed.

Anonymous said...

I would relish the chance to throw Paris Hilton out of a Wal-Mart for bringing in her dog. What *fun* that would be!!!

Patric said...

Here's what gets me. I tried to go to the liquor store in the Las Olas Publix with my dog in tow. I figure, it is located outside the actual Publix, so it will be okay. No dice. They make me leave. Take the dog home, go into the actual Publix and there's a girl of about 20 with double D breasts and a teacup Yorkie walking around the store. The very same manager who told me I couldn't bring in my Jack Russel is standing there flirting with her! Health and safety issue my ass!

Karen said...

I feel your pain, man.
I worked in a grocery store in Arizona, and one day this guy comes in with a medium-size dog and goes up by the pharmacy. Like you, our store has a no-animal policy. When asked to take the dog outside, the man became belligerent and foul-mouthed, cursing at everyone at the top of his lungs for nearly five minutes. After our manager told him to leave or be arrested, the man went away, but not before he had made his dog take a huge steaming dump all over the floor!
Some people are just too awful to live.