I haaaaaaate computers

There's this little kiosk in the store where customers can fill out an application for a Wal-Mart credit card and get instant credit and a one-day-only shopping pass. But I'm getting ahead of myself ...

At the service desk, this well-dressed women, a business-y type, comes in. She had a whole long receipt of things she bought on her debit card. She didn't want to use her debit card, she wanted to use a credit card to get points. Specifically, a Wal-Mart card because you get some kind of cash back/points whatever.

Anyway. Her current Wal-Mart card has been canceled. So she goes to apply for a new one. At the crucial point in the process, something fails and her one-day pass does not print. So help me Zeus, the saga begins ...

There's allegedly a way to get the pass out of the machine. I call the credit card company (for the first time). They say she's been approved, but refuse to give the number over the phone. It has to come out of the machine.

I call tech support (for the first time). They tell me to get a salaried member of management's name badge and use that to access the history and print the pass. (Tracking down a manager is like hunting for chocolate at a fat camp). I get a manager's badge, but after 20 minutes laboring over the machine produces nil.

I call the credit card company. I ask if they can just let this lady have the card number so she can shop. We got some rude woman who issued a blanket "NO!" and refused to help.

I call tech support for the second time. After another 15 minutes on hold, I get rather angry, and accused them of lying to me. They hedge, and then claim that I was told the wrong thing, and that they can't re-print the pass, only the credit card company can, from the HQ in whereever.

I told them what the credit card company said. Tech Support said to ask for a manager, and then get one of my managers to back me up. F*** ME! And to make matters worse, they give me the same phone number I've already called twice.

So I call the credit card company AGAIN. (three times now) I've memorized the menu options at this point.

I get stroppy right off the bat. They claim again that they can't do that. I finally lose my temper and just go off. "Look, just let the woman shop."

So they take down my name (probably to call and complain), make me get a manager AND the customer to verify the account information and finally give this lady her card information.

And you want to know the absolute best part? As I was taking the manager whose badge I borrowed in the futile effort back, I ran into an old co-worker who transferred to another department. She told me that one of the overnight girls has to re-print the things all the time. So I call the other girl at work, and she tells me that I have to use MY FREAKING BADGE, not a manager's.

So THREE FREAKING HOURS LATER we finally get a slip of paper out of a machine. Now, this was after I'd yelled at people on the phone!

I swear. I hate computers. I hate tech support. I especially hate credit card companies. And I really and truly hate anything that does not have sensible directions.