I remembered this one episode from Tuesday that I forgot to relate.
It was like super-busy at lunchtime, when we're trying to get like 9 cashiers off the register for their lunch (and they LET YOU KNOW that they want a lunch, too). Plus, there's a pregnant one that times me to the second. She's only six months along but she's tiny, so it looks like she's carrying a 20-pound watermelon in front of her.
Anyway, while I'm trying to work all this out and deal with the usual chaos, this rather well-dressed lady comes up to the podium, which is just to the side of the shelves where we sell books. "Can I return books?" "Yes ma'am. Please keep your receipts, because we only allow three returns without a receipt within a twelve-month period. Also, returns have to be made within 90 days of the date of purchase." You'd think this would be the end of the conversation. Oh but no.
HER: "I'm just asking, because I want to take these to books home to my mother and see which one she wants. She said she wanted one in Spanish, but I'm not sure that this is the one."
ME: "Ma'am, if you've got your receipt, you'll have no problems bringing the book back."
HER: "Are you sure I won't have any trouble."
ME: "No ma'am."
HER: "I just don't want there to be any problems when I try to bring this book back."
ME: (At this point, I wonder if she's stupid, or just trying my patience.) "Ma'am, as long as you have your receipt, you won't have any problems. Even if you lose your receipt, you can still return items."
HER: "Oh, I guess I'll just take both books and see which one she wants. Are you positive I can return books?"
ME: (in a rather curt tone of voice) "Ma'am, I used to work at the Service Desk. We do accept returns on books. If you have any problems, please ask for me." And I show her my name badge.
She finally gets it, or at least decides to leave off pestering me and goes her blithering idiot way somewhere else. Sheesh. This is one that should have been drowned at birth. I'm all in favor of instant intelligence tests. If the baby doesn't meet an intelligence threshhold, knock it in the head and toss it to the dogs. The world would be a better place!