Saturday, February 26, 2005

"Lacroix baby spew, darling!"

Unfortunately, it was nothing so glamorous as that immortal line from AbFab today, just the plain variety of baby spew (actually, it looked more like strained peaches, maybe bananas) that set me off.

I was dragged to housewares, then to hardware, then to electronics, all in the name of finding items for customers (WHERE ARE THE FRELLING SALES ASSOCIATES?) While in Electronics, this lady grabs me. "Sir, this lady over here just fell in something."

Those are the LAST words you ever want to hear. I go over. This lady is standing up, she says she's OK, but there is this huge pile of goop on the floor, yellow and soupy and all over the place. I get back to the photo lab and get one of the girls to go stand there until I can get something to clean it up.

While one of the associates is standing there, some man tries to barrel right past her. UM, WATCH WHAT YOU'RE DOING! As I have to examine the nastiness, I realize that it is in fact what I thought it was - BABY SPEW! Yuck! I just dump a whole bunch of paper towels on it, wipe it up and dump it in the trash. This is what I've been reduced to.

  • Honestly, who returns dead plants?
  • Is it really wise to cash a $4,800 tax refund check at a Wal-Mart?
  • Don't try to write three big checks to Wal-Mart in one day. And then lie and tell me you're "grocery shopping." I can see the two DVD recorders on the receipt and the register is telling me that you've tried to write too many checks. Don't as for "a manager." No manager who wants to keep their job is going to do something that will cost the store money and approve that check.

    Today was the day I finally started finding my manager legs at the podium and giving orders like I was born to command. I took control of the schedule and never looked back. One of those girls didn't want to go to break early and sent her replacement back. I sent the girl back with this message: "She takes her break now or she doesn't get it." She took her break.

    Another one didn't want to go home 15 minutes early because she was only scheduled for 36 hours this week. She sent her replacement back too. I slapped the clipboard down, went over there and politely explained that she had to go while I had a replacement available for her, and besides, it usually took her 20 minutes to count her money anyway!

  • Some people buy a bottle of Advil, take two for their headache, and return the rest, claiming it "makes them sick."
  • I laughed at this one. A customer returned three pairs of shoes. She explained that her husband hated shopping, so she bought four pairs, took them home, he picked out the one he liked, and she returned the rest. Frelling amazing!
  • Who stands in line to argue about being over-charged six cents on a package of bacon?
  • My feet hurt, but I had a good day today. :)

    Wench` said...

    My mom works customer service and she was telling me the funniest thing that has happened to her recently was a woman brought back a box of exlax and said they didn't work on her husband.

    Things you wanted to know right?


    Beth Donovan said...

    well, actually, Walmart guarantees plants like bushes and trees for a year - against dying - that is why people return them!

    staticwarp said...

    "While in Electronics, this lady grabs me. "Sir, this lady over here just fell in something."

    gotcha! you are ten times hotter now! i love this site...