ME: "How can I help you?"
CUSTOMER: "I'd like to return this.
ME: "Do you have a receipt?"
A casually dressed Caucasian man in his mid-forties approached the Customer Service desk. He held a toilet plunger in his hands. It was large, purple, violently so, the kind of purple that violets only dream about.
He laid it on the counter. I grasped it by the bulb end to move it out of the way and begin processing my transaction.
CUSTOMER: "It won't plunge."
ME: (internally) "Sigh. You're an asshole for not telling me you put this thing inside a nasty, shitty toilet, then brought it back and threw it on the counter here and let me touch it before telling me that. You knew that would happen and let it go on anyway. Also, I know you're lying because I have one just like this, and it will unclog anything, up to and including a toilet at a fat camp."
ME: (aloud) "It won't?"
CUSTOMER: "No. I put it in and it won't suck."