Thursday, November 15, 2007

In tha dog pound

It has been hella busy lately, so I'm not always at Customer Service right when I go in at 2 p.m. - because that seems to be the only schedule I ever get nowadays - 2-11 p.m.

Saturday I go in and there is a new co-manager running the front end and all the supervisors are on a register. Instead of the service desk, she asks if I can watch the Self Checkouts for a while. OK. Fine. They're theft magnets and people are stupid. Sounds the same to me.

There's a new thing now where we're not supposed to actually stand at the monitoring station - with the cash register and the computer that has the monitor for all four self-checkouts. We're supposed to stand out in the middle of the Self-Checkout aisles and "be available" for customers - which generally means you get pulled four ways at once and don't get anything done.

I'm trying to help this WOACA ring up tomatoes - all the while she's insisting that "TOMATOES CANNOT COST THIS MUCH IN NOVEMBER." Seriously lady. Yes they can.

Then I see the tragedy start to unfold.

There's a hugely fat woman with not one, not two, but three screaming howler monkeys. She's got one of those Wal-Mart kid-carts, with the child seats built into the buggy under the handle. Two crotchlings are seated there; the third is clinging to the side of the buggy like a shipwreck survivor. They are howling fit to raise the dead. They want chips, candy, movies, a soda, their Nintendo DS. What they NEED is a good spanking and a lesson on how to act in public.

The cart is full. Not just full, but overflowing. Either she only shops once a month or there are additional howler monkeys at home. Dear Kali, perish the thought. Underneath the buggy, she's jammed a couple of cases of water and soda and also managed to wedge a sack of Ol' Roy dog food that sits precariously on the edge. The howler clinging to the side is repeatedly bouncing on the sack of Ol' Roy - causing it to lean further out of the buggy.

I see her come by Register 1, bend down and re-adjust the dog food, trying to jam it up under the buggy some more. Then she's distracted by the screaming howlers and yells at them to "Just shut up and wait a minute. Mommy's almost done."

She finally KICKS the dog food and pushes the buggy forward.

Unfortunately for her, those kiddie carts aren't the most maneuverable. Think station wagons - without power steering.

A corner of the sack of dog food hangs on the bottom of one of the shelf displays. I see her having trouble and move to go over, but am caught by this idiot woman who can't find the barcode on a carton of water. See people, it is NOT as simple as "scan and bag."

When I look up again, the woman and her howler monkeys are down by register five.

Unfortunately, so is half a sack of Ol' Roy - marking the trail like some bizarre Hansel and Gretel.

I yell at her "Ma'am. Ma'am Ma'am"

She doesn't here me over her howlers. And she keeps on going. Register 7. More dog food.

I yell at her "Ma'am. Ma'am Ma'am"

Register 9. Register 11. She's trying to find a short line.

She turns in at Register 13. And the woman beside her goes "What the hell is that?"

Yes. Ol'Roy.

All the way from Register 2 down to Register 13.

And it stank. I really do not know who feeds that stuff to their dogs.

Seriously people. You know what Wal-Mart feeds to people. Do you really want to know what they feed to dogs?


Anonymous said...

I bet she wanted to trade that bag for one without a tear in it, since this one was "defective".

Anonymous said...

this site is hilarious, truly! However, since I've been reading the archives since yesterday, the same question keeps coming to my mind. Can it be THAT much better to WORK at Walmart than to SHOP at walmart? I mean, I've shopped at quite a few, and I can't say I've ever run into any Mensa members or future Einstein's working there. And if it's so bad, why not just get another job, by your own admission, the pay sucks. Anyway, I do enjoy the site, lots of laughs.

Peeved Guy said...

Long story short...
I heard of a fellow that fed his dog Ol' Roy and the pooches fur fell out. True story.

Anonymous said...


When you get paid mininmum wage you don't exactly feel the need to display your intellectual skills, for one thing you are usually so bored by your job but stressed by the simple amount of busywork you come off seeming like a clone (really your are counting down the minutes of your shift and remember the only reason you work there is to pay for tuition so you can get the hell out of there and into a really job) And if you read the archives you'll see that anyone who shows any intelligence immediatly gets to become the everything whore (meaning you're considered smart enough to do any job) so it's best to keep your smarts to yourself in hopes that you can stay on the easier jobs because why work any harder when you stil get the same lousy wage??


Cyndi said...

I debated turning a neighbor in to the local HS for feeding their puppy adult-formula Ol' Roy. The poor baby had ribs showing through his fur constant yellow diarrhea - I *swear* that stuff is made up of mostly sawdust.

Anonymous said...

I used to work at a vet office so people constantly asked us what to recommend to feed their dogs. Our answer was always "A good quality dry dog food like Hill's". But we also had to LEARN alot about dog food. And the same crap that they use to make the high dollar dog foods- is the same crap they use to make Ol Roy. It's all dog food- it's all crap.

I have alos been feeding my 4 Ol Roy for years- and they are in perfect health. It isn't so much the food as the quality of care.

SalGal said...

Yeah, they feed them poisoned cats from China!

Anne said...

"And the same crap that they use to make the high dollar dog foods- is the same crap they use to make Ol Roy. It's all dog food- it's all crap."

Not true. SO not true. Do a search and compare the ingredients of Ol' Roy to, say, Solid Gold or Natural Balance. Corn in multiple forms, animal by-products and other fillers that are present in Ol' Roy aren't in the "high dollar" foods, thank heavens.

If you honestly worked at a vet's office and still believe this, it scares me.

Anonymous said...

I hate the new way we have to do the self-checkouts. You can't see all the registers by standing in the middle of the registers. Home office has too much time on their hands!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

"howler monkeys"

You made my day.
Thank you.

contessa said...

My guess: Ol' Roy ACTUALLY IS MADE FROM Ol' Roy. Truth in labeling, y'all.

Anonymous said...

#1 ingredient in Ol Roy is ground corn.

#1 ingredient in science diet is chicken, then corn meal.

In my non-scientific opinion, eating Ol Roy every day is about equivalent to us eating McD's every day, every meal.

Anonymous said...

Commercial Dog & Cat food is mainly garbage that we would not eat ourselves. Seriously, I read up on the subject & immediately got rid of our dog & cat foods. Check this out... ... it is just an excerpt from the book, but enough to turn the stomach of any pet lover.

I can't go on about this. It still upsets me. I no longer feed my dogs & cat that garbage. I found this ... ... made from all-natural, human-grade ingredients.

Sorry if I sound like a commercial. I saw the opportunity to share, so I did.

jessiedawn said...

peeved guy: my mother in law left her dogs with my grandmother while she went to Alaska. She left a big 40 lb bag of Iams for the dogs to eat. She got stuck in Alaska for several more weeks than she expected, so my grandmother had to buy more dog food in her absence. Yes, it was Old Roy. And yes, when my mother in law came home to get her dogs, their fur was patchy in many places like they had mange or something! An expensive vet visit diagnosed they had no skin diseases, just a lack of nutrition. It took her several months of Iams to get their "luxurious coats" back. It is true that Old Roy is nutritionalally devoid, and I bet you since Sam Walton loved his dog Roy so much, he would never feed him such crap!

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

You know how every once in awhile you get to thinking about a fellow WM associate and realize you haven't seen them at work in a long, long time and you wonder whatever happened to them.....

Anonymous said...

^^^^My thoughts exactly...........

Anonymous said...

Ugh. People are retards. I wonder if they have stupid radar so all the stupids come to wal-mart at the same time.... argh.

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

My parents used to feed our dog Ol' Roy because it was "cheap" amd they were on a Wal-Mart kick in the late 80's/early 90's before they realized Wal-Mart is BAD NEWS.

Anyway, the food stunk so bad when they opened it up, my dad threw it all out after the second feeding. Have you ever looked at what's in the bottom of a bag of Ol Roy???!!!!

Worms. Those hard, disgusting creepy worms that curl up in a ball when you touch them. After that incident, my parents started buying Science Diet, which cost about 5 times more but was so worth it.

Now, I have learned Science Diet uses meat-by-products, which includes bird beaks and feet. Gross. said...

Seriously Heidi? Worms? That's just wrong. Who would feed that to their dog if they cared about him or her at all? This is the House of Wal, so it is pretty much par for the course.

Anonymous said...

Honestly, If you care at all you will want what is best for them...First off although many claim to be good foods like Iams and Pedigree, let me tell you that Iams does dog testing for their product, when they are done with them they dispose of them!! I DO NOT buy IAMS for that reason and the fact that it is really not all that good for them anyway.Any dog food company who uses dogs a lab experiemnts and disgards them should NOT be in business.Pedigree is not that far behind.
I feed my boys Chicken Soup for the pet lovers soul, It's organic and for a commmercial dog food I recommend it highly.
People not buy Iams(Killer of dogs)Look it up on google you will see it for yourself
Thanx all!!

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