Monday, October 15, 2007

The hills are alive with the sounds of white trash scamming

What with the economy being in the toilet and the construction industry in Florida being the toilet paper circling the drain of said toilet, the herds of free range white trash without educations or marketable job skills that extend beyond wielding a hammer are again roving the great Wal-prairies looking to scam.

The new thing seems to be buying items at thrift stores, charity shops or maybe pawn shops, then trying to return them at Wal-Mart. Not just clothes, but sometimes electronics. For all I know, they're rifling through the trash. Of course, this only works if you and the corn-fed sow in Daisy Dukes with her hands in your back pockets can keep the story straight.

OK. So I get a particularly lurvley white trash couple straight out of Central Casting. He's got on faded T-shirt that reads "The South Shall Rise Again" - with the sleaves ripped off and the sides cut off except for about an inch around the bottom hem - and jeans with about eight colors of paint and some motor oil thrown in for good measure. Boots that were made for mucking out a stable and the requisite Bud Light hat. From the neck down, maybe if I was slipped a roofie. From the neck up, *shudder* - alls I'm saying is - Future Proactive Spokesmodel-In-Training. Either way, he wasn't too bright.

The girlfriend had packed her considerable girth into a pair of cutoffs that would have made Daisy Duck, Daisy Buchanan, certainly Miss Daisy and probably Daisy Duke herself (Lord, Catherine Bach sure did pack on the pounds later in life) cry with shame and run for a cover-up. I forget what kind of top she had on. I just kept waiting for that one sad, overstressed button on the front of her pants to go and was trying to stay out of the way of it.
Anyway. They roll in with a SanDisk Sansa music player. JUST the player. No box, no cables, no headphones. Nothing. And of course no receipt.

I don't know what it is yet, so I ask them "That's how it came? No headphones?"

She says yes, he says no. "Well which is it?" I'm not very polite when it comes to scammers here lately. What are they gonna do? Call the cops? And apparently it magically doesn't come with headphones or any other accessories. What's that I smell? Scam? Or maybe weed. It was hard to tell over the B.O.

So I'm like "Exchange it, but no refund, no store credit, no nothing." And we're not even supposed to return MP3 players without a receipt period. That's actually one of the policies posted on the wall. But they'll whine and moan and get a manager .... which they eventually did ...

So an electronics associate walks a new one back up to Customer Service and asks me "Is this what you need? You know it's $148 right?" And then I notice it comes with a whole list of stuff: namely - AC charger/adaptor; USB cable; earphones; case; install CD and user guides.

I bust their "no headphones" story like a DUI cop with a quota on a Saturday night. It don't even make a difference because the shield of ignorance is so thick.

"Well this is how we got it." At the pawn shop, maybe. Or digging through the trash. But you ain't bought it like that at at no Wal-Mart on this continent.

I'm like "No. This is how we sell them."

"Well this is how we got ours. I want a manager." And I want birth control to be delivered in the water system.

Management didn't even bother with making the unsavory types "exchange" their "defective" player. They just refunded it onto a gift card and wished them on their merry way.

Which was probably the right wrong call in the end - give away the $148 plus tax and don't let them have another perfectly good unit to go pull the same stunt with again. Still, that's another few shekels down the tube tops. After a while, it starts to add up.

18 comments:

Anonymous said...

I'm amazed WaolMart can stay in business. Do they have a money tree?

Anonymous said...

I'm amazed WalMart can stay in business. Do they have a money tree?

Anonymous said...

I'm sure the stench of "scam" was at least as strong as their B.O. I could smell it from here.

Too bad the manager didn't have the cahones to foil their scam.

Hopefully the manager used their code to do the transaction so it won't show up as you having done it on your own.

Nicholas Weaver said...

Remember, these SCAMS don't cost Wal*Mart that much.

Wal*Mart pays, say, $130 for that player. They now return the player to the manufacturer as "defective", and the manufacturer eats $130, with Wal*Mart only eating $20.

That is how Wal*Mart stays in business with all these scamming scum out there, for the most part, it is NOT WALMART'S MONEY!

Anonymous said...

This is exactly why I refuse to shop at China Mart. Unfreakinreal!

Anonymous said...

nicholas:

The manufacturer wont give walmart credit if all the parts are not there. Claims can try to send it back but the return center will charge the store back, most likely claims will just mark down the $148 item to zero and throw it the trash.

Stoic said...

I come to the conclusion that all your managers are out bankrupt Walmart. Which I'm all for. Go managers!

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

They shouldn't have given them anything. Not a new player. Not a gift card. Nothing but a kick out the door.

Oh, well. While I don't like scammers, I don't feel sorry for Wal-Mart. (They could have said no).

While I'd love if Wal-Mart went bankrupt, I don't want them to go out of business because then I wouldn't have your blog to read!

Anonymous said...

Holy fuck! That's retarded. I also work at Hell Mart, although in Canada.... We have people trying to pull this shit all the time, but we're a brand new store, and our management gerbils are still on the wheel, so to speak, with approving stuff at the service desk. It's fun to watch the courtesy desk circus now and again.... lol.

Anonymous said...

I used to be a Store Manager at a Big Box store ( not wal-mart thank god) and I will tell you why it makes sense to give them a gift card and get them on thier way. As was stated, Wal-mart probably paid $130(which is crazy) for said MP3 Player. You gave them a gift card for $148. They will spend the $148 at Walmart again, but #1, they will either not use all of it, and lose the card, or 2, they will spend more and have to pay the difference (which happens over 75% of the time, verified.), or they will buy exactly the same thing...NOT. Now you might say, then Wal-Mart is out $260. Well, I can tell you from experience, that $148 Mp3 player did not cost Wal Mart $130 dollars. The person who said that must live in a fairy world where the store doesn't make any money. And we know Wal-MArt is not hurting for profits...If they paid $130 dollars for it, it would be selling around $200. If it is not marked up 30 - 40% they wouldn't be selling it., so it probably cost Walmart around 80-90 bucks, so now we are to 160 bucks, if they buy the same thing..is it worth $160 bucks to you as a manager to have some piece of trash from the 8 mile trailer park in your face and stinking up the customer service desk, while the other customers watch? No, give them a gift card, they can buy thier Halloween costume ( which are usually marked up 80% or so...and get them on thier way.

Anonymous said...

Duh, all you people who do not have a clue how a retail business works... Wal-Mart does not have a money tree, this kind of crap is figured into whats called thier "shrink" budget. Yes, at the beginning of thier fiscal year, some bean counter figures they will lose 20% or so of thier inventory due to loss, theft, scammers, etc. They figure this into thier operating budget. It is pretty much accepted as part of doing business, the closer you can stay to that number, the more money you make, either way! If you are way under that number, there is a problem...either your customer count is too low, your prices or too high, or some employees are not doing thier job correctly. If your number is too high, your customer count is higher than expected, your prices are too low, so noone steals anything, or some employees are not doing thier job. Every well-run, profitable retail business works this way.

I love your blog for the great customer - employee interactions, they are dead on perfect and the writing is spectacular, but I can't stand these Comment people who have no clue what they are talking about..

Anonymous said...

"I love your blog for the great customer - employee interactions, they are dead on perfect and the writing is spectacular, but I can't stand these Comment people who have no clue what they are talking about.."

I agree with this. Maybe some of these commenters are the same people who pull this crap. The mind boggles...

Anonymous said...

for your humor
http://consumerist.com/consumer/cola-wars/pepsi-worker-attacks-coke-worker-at-walmart-310427.php

Anonymous said...

Must be nice being the smartest, bestest person on earth who is above everyone else anon. I was being sarcastic in my comment "I'm amazed WalMart can stay in business. Do they have a money tree?"
I forgot more than you know, so save your snooty, looking down your nose on others for yourself. I'm glad you can't stand me because I have no use for sexual intellects. YOU being so smarter than though should figure out what THAT means. :) Have a nice day!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for making my point that most commentors are idiots with your comment including words like "bestest" and this sentence "YOU being so smarter than though should figure out what THAT means." Is that even a sentence? MORON.

Anonymous said...

"Thanks for making my point that most commentors are idiots with your comment including words like "bestest" and this sentence "YOU being so smarter than though should figure out what THAT means." Is that even a sentence? MORON."
HAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for making my day! YOU prove MY point. Pot, Kettle, Black :)

Dirk said...

I admit, I have no clue about how the retail business works. That's probably because I don't work in the fucking retail business though.

I imagine there are plenty of things Mr. Anonymous doesn't have a clue about himself.

beej said...

Sorry to comment on an old post but I could NOT RESIST telling you how much I laughed at this one...

"Well this is how we got ours. I want a manager." And I want birth control to be delivered in the water system.