Friday, October 26, 2007

Five Finger Fridays, V.13.0

Because the Wal-martians got to steal to stay alive! Why pay when it is free for the taking? Sorry this week's theft report is late. I got issues too, you know.

-- a package of Head-On migraine relief pills
-- four weightlifting gloves
-- a three-watt LED flashlight
-- a pair of craft scissors
-- three packages of iron-on letters
-- "Dogz" for the GameBoy Advance
-- a 1 gig Kodak memory card (lordy, do the white trash even know what TO DO with a memory card? It ain't to help you pass a test!)
-- a package of Midol
-- four Chain Reactions key rings
-- a box of the Shania Twain perfume
-- a "Rainbow Adventure" DVD (for the budding homosexual shoplifter)
-- a Sony 2 gig memory stick (again, do you EVEN KNOW what to do with these?)
-- two "Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer" DVDs
-- the hottest CD of the season - "Salsa and Cumbia Party Fuente All-Stars"
-- a tube of Neutrogena Blemish treatment (oh, but how will you treat the blemish on your SOUL!)
-- Rohto redness relief (file under random, WTF, are you crazy?)
-- a SkilSaw blade
-- a tube of Vicks VapoRub
-- four, count 'em four tubes of ScarZone with Green Tea extract (is there a hot market for this?)
-- an Ana Barbara CD
-- a pack of Advil Liquigels (no doubt to soothe the pain of standing on your feet shoplifting all day.)
-- a pack of titanium drill bits
-- a weight belt (this is big. And it just walked right out of the store. Our people are as dumb as sh**.)
-- a whole damn tube of Monistat3 (Seriously girlfriend. If you got the issues *down there* - you need to get to a clinic or something. Stolen goods from the House of Wal might not clear up your little problem. And do you really trust pharmaceuticals from a place that sells lead-lined toys to children? Didn't think so.)
-- a package of X-Large men's briefs
-- a pack of Revlon Colorstay lip gloss in Timeless Nude (color is better girls. Trust me. Save the nude for the bedroom. Or Playboy.)
-- a bottle of Robitussin DM

4 comments:

Ballz said...

Obviously, cold and flu season has hit WalHell

Brian said...

Fat people need underwear too!

quacked said...

Rohto is lame to steal. Those eyedrops burn! But I guess they will find that out soon enough. :)

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