Today's list is kind of thin. It was so busy that I didn't get the chance to write much down.
That said, it was obviously movie night somewhere. We had enough movies stolen to open up a Netflix outlet.
Please remember to silence your cell phones. Refreshments are available in our lobby. Gift certificates may be purchased at our box office. Thank you, and enjoy the show.
-- a "We Are Marshall" DVD
-- a "Surf's Up" DVD (the other, other, other penguin movie, you know, the one with surfing.)
-- a "Redline" DVD (Some crappy "Fast & the Furious" knockoff. When Amazon is selling used copies for $2.19, you know it is baaaaaaaaad.)
-- a "Next" DVD (Nicholas Cage needs hair plugs - and acting lessons, stat!)
-- a "Jungle Book" DVD
-- a "Fantastic Four 2: Rise of the Silver Surfer" DVD
-- "The Condemned" on DVD (Starring people I've never heard of. Sounds like a knockoff of the much superior "Series 7.")
-- "Charlotte's Web" on DVD (loved book, meh on the animated movie)
-- a Pretty Ricky "Late Night Special" CD
-- a 20 in. dog leash
-- another dog leash (all the dog supplies we have stolen. Either someone has a fetish or needs to learn to budget.)
-- a package of Bic pens
-- a "Bachata #1's" DVD (Can someone explain to me what bachata is and why people are so anxious to steal it?)
-- two packages of Gillette Fusion razor blades (I cut myself to stop from stealing. Or in my meth lab. Whatever comes first.)
-- two packages of WeedEater coil, rope, plastic whatever
-- "Lost Planet" computer game for a PC (yeah, that's another $40 down the tubes.)
-- a Microsoft Lifecam VX-1000 (because, you know, we just leave stuff lying around and our idiotic sales associates totally don't notice someone walking out with a Web cam stuffed in their pockets.)
-- and the crown jewel of the collection, a $98.68 Cobra radar detector, snagged right out of the box. Why do we even bother with charging for some items? We ought to just open the door and declare a free for all. If you grab it and get back out the door in under ten minutes, it is yours. Individual human power only, no teams or devices. Pushing, pulling and tugging allowed. Otherwise, armed guards will be patrolling. Shoot to kill. After a week of that, there won't be any shoplifters.