Old people suck.
Mean people suck.
Rude people suck.
People with entitlement issues suck.
Cheap people suck.
Lying, manipulative, dog-faced, eau de trailer cows who get their gigantic granny panties knotted into a pretzel-twist because I don't want to return their two-week old copy of "Soap Opera Digest" just suck like a Lewinsky-bot on full automatic.
ME: "Ma'am, I can't return that magazine." She's got a copy of some soap opera guide.
THUNDER THIGHS: "Why not?"
ME: "We don't accept book or magazine returns after 2 days." Long story, but basically someone returned $70 worth of magazines - some six months old - we don't sell at our store and someone was dumb enough to take them back.
THUNDER THIGHS: "Well, I have a receipt for it."
ME: "Yes ma'am. You bought this issue two weeks ago. We can't take it back."
THUNDER THIGHS: "Well that's just crap. You get me a manager here right now."
ME: "Certainly." Sees a supervisor walking by.
ME: "Supervisor, do we take back magazines?"
SUPERVISOR: "No. Because people read them and then return them."
THUNDER THIGHS: "But I have a receipt." Not. The. Point.
ME: "But you bought it two weeks ago. It is not returnable."
THUNDER THIGHS: "Well I bought one and forgot I had one and bought another one." We both think she's just lying out her copious bottom. So my supervisor decides to call her bluff.
SUPERVISOR: "Find the other receipt and we'll return it."
THUNDER THIGHS: "Wait a minute." Starts digging through purse. Opens wallet. Digs through purse again. Digs through wallet. Must have at least 50 Wal-Mart receipts. "I found it."
ME: Thinking ..... "what just happened?" ... did she ... she did. ... Damn. I think we just got served. Nothing to do but take it standing up and cough up the huge cash reward she worked so hard to earn.
ME: "OK. Here's your $2.86. Sign here please."
$2.86. What price is your dignity selling for?