Thursday, August 09, 2007

Read it and return it

Old people suck.
Mean people suck.
Rude people suck.
People with entitlement issues suck.
Cheap people suck.
Scammers suck.

Lying, manipulative, dog-faced, eau de trailer cows who get their gigantic granny panties knotted into a pretzel-twist because I don't want to return their two-week old copy of "Soap Opera Digest" just suck like a Lewinsky-bot on full automatic.

ME: "Ma'am, I can't return that magazine." She's got a copy of some soap opera guide.
ME: "We don't accept book or magazine returns after 2 days." Long story, but basically someone returned $70 worth of magazines - some six months old - we don't sell at our store and someone was dumb enough to take them back.
THUNDER THIGHS: "Well, I have a receipt for it."
ME: "Yes ma'am. You bought this issue two weeks ago. We can't take it back."
THUNDER THIGHS: "Well that's just crap. You get me a manager here right now."
ME: "Certainly." Sees a supervisor walking by.

ME: "Supervisor, do we take back magazines?"
SUPERVISOR: "No. Because people read them and then return them."
THUNDER THIGHS: "But I have a receipt." Not. The. Point.
ME: "But you bought it two weeks ago. It is not returnable."

THUNDER THIGHS: "Well I bought one and forgot I had one and bought another one." We both think she's just lying out her copious bottom. So my supervisor decides to call her bluff.
SUPERVISOR: "Find the other receipt and we'll return it."
THUNDER THIGHS: "Wait a minute." Starts digging through purse. Opens wallet. Digs through purse again. Digs through wallet. Must have at least 50 Wal-Mart receipts. "I found it."
ME: Thinking ..... "what just happened?" ... did she ... she did. ... Damn. I think we just got served. Nothing to do but take it standing up and cough up the huge cash reward she worked so hard to earn.
ME: "OK. Here's your $2.86. Sign here please."

$2.86. What price is your dignity selling for?


Anonymous said...

So I get this training question from one of our floor help cashiers. His frigg'n register froze up before it printed the receipt, but AFTER the transaction was done and the receipt printed. I'm like, yeah whatever. So I reset the system without the receipt printing. I just don't care. So this Goth Mom comes up to me after that and is all in my face about not getting her receipt. Direct quote: "I need a receipt. I just bought a bunch a campin stuff. When I bring it back I don't want a be gettin shit for not havin a receipt. I'll be really pissed off if that happens." I'm like, yeah whatever. Bitch.

Anonymous said...

Mean people suck.
Rude people suck.
People with entitlement issues suck.


Mott said...

I only have 1 question... who the hell keeps receipts for magazines? Jaaaaysus! I can only imagine the other things she ferrets away. Her purse must be the size of a lincoln!

Clark said...

She probably scours the parking lot for receipts and then matches them up with what she has (or steals) to return it.

FARfetched said...

The sup. got pwned!!! At least this particular customer wasn't lying....

CoderForChrist said...

Who knows if the particular customer was lying or not? On the one had, she did have both receipts. On the other hand, she could have found that receipt somewhere (trash can, sitting out in the parking lot, etc.).

At the same time, all that trouble over $3.00? Granted, I'm living rather comfortably at the moment, but, still, if I had been her (assuming she told the truth), I'd have just thought, "dang, I just wasted 3 bucks. Stupid me."

Then again, I usually do this with movies, and I can always take the duplicates to MovieStop and trade-in, so I haven't really lost so much there.

grundes said...

On the other hand, if $3 matter that much to you, I think a better way to spend time would be not searching the trash cans for a matching receipt, but in that same Walmart -- behind the counter. That is, if you're strapped for cash but absolutely must have the "Soap Opera Digest"

If Life Were Sane said...

I don't know how many times I've accidently picked up the same magazine twice, or my husband knowing I have 3 favorites, thinking to do me a favor picks them up when I've already bought them. I would NEVER think of returning them though, receipt or no receipt and NO way 2 days later. I guess if you are on a tight budget, $3 could make a difference, but still!

Kasia said...

Eh - I would be inclined to take the "Dang, I just wasted $3" attitude myself, but I don't think it's likely that she dug through trash cans looking for a $3 Soap Opera Digest receipt. Sounds to me like she was telling the truth.

As to whether $3 makes or breaks you, who knows? I wouldn't sweat it personally, but I know plenty of people who would return something over $3. And you know what? Most of them have more money than me. I suspect there's a connection there: they understand that no matter how many dollars you have, you can only spend each one once.

My biggest issue with her is simply that she demanded an exception to the return policy because of her own carelessness, not that she made a fuss over $3.

Anonymous said...

Just the other day I returned a two dollar washer to Home Depot because I had gotten the wrong kind. But it was still sealed in its bag and I still had the receipt. But the Home Depot was also right along my drive home. Afterwards I promptly drove down to the dollar store to get a pair of one dollar sunglasses because I'd just misplaced my previous pair of one dollar sunglasses. The pair I bought still had a Kohl's tag on them that said "Retail $20.00"

All in all, I figured it was worth the trouble this particular time.

I, however, did not make use of the item I was returning and then expect exceptions to the rules to get my way.

High-Maintenance & Hostile Heidi said...

With all due respect, I really don't know how anyone can buy the same magazine twice.

I laughed myself silly when I read she had two receipts! This same kind of thing happened when I worked in a salon at the mall. An old lady always came in and bought a bunch of expensive shampoo on "double-reward" day and then returned it so she could keep the rewards. And she always bought the SAME shampoo. Finally, I said, you know, you buy and return the same shampoo all the time." She said, "No, I've never returned anything that must be my twin sister." I was like, "Yeah, right." It turns out, she really DID have a twin sister who was going around buying and returning stuff!

Anonymous said...

H-M & H H,

I love it. I never would have guessed it.

Although they probably both did it and kept the option of blaming each other if it was mentioned.

As for the magazine, If I bought two of the same magazine I would have thought "stupid me" and made a gift of it to someone.

Cyndi said...

Okay, this one was hysterical. Old lady: 1, Wal-Hell Supervisor: 0

The old lady deserved the three bucks for that in humor value alone.

Patrick said...

Exception to the *written* store policy or exception to the "god want-ta-be behind the counter" making up policy as it goes?

Wal*Mart has what, a 90 day policy and as far as I know, spells out what items don't... if magazines are listed, fine. If not, do your job!

Rude customers sucks and all, but at least they are not the minimum waged loser behind the Wally World counter.

Talk about losers!

paintpaste said...

"suck like a Lewinsky-bot on full automatic."

that is gold