Three separate and distinct times Sunday I had customers return USED power tools. These weren't even obvious scams - like putting an old drill in a new package. No. They bought the tools, used them and then returned them.
One woman rolled up with a buggy full of stuff - a drill, a sander and a power saw - and wants to return it all.
Her receipt is four days old.
She gets real huffy when I open up all the packages to look inside and start inspecting the tools for signs that the products are really old or obvious switches. I'm trying to see if the drill - an expensive model - has a serial number on it when she finally loses patience and snaps out "Is there a problem? All these were defective and I want my money back."
I just said "Ma'am, we need to inspect the merchandise prior to a return," in as bland a voice as I possibly could.
Look heifer. This is Black & Decker stuff. Most of what Wal-Mart sells is trash, but NASA used Black & Decker on the lunar missions. The chances of $200 worth of power tools failing simultaneously are about as great as you marrying Prince William.
So you can just stand there in your horrid orange terrycloth halter-top ensemble - yeah, those shorts don't BEGIN to cover up your cottage cheese thighs - and wait.
You might conceivably wander over to our Health & Beauty section for something to help with your horribly dry hair. Conditioner? Or a nice hot oil treatment for madame? Stay away from the home perms though. Your head looks like a poodle bred with a bowl of vermicelli.
PS: While you're over there, pick up something for your personal odor problem. I know it is hot outside and we're all sweating like hookers on a pew, but you need a bath and probably a douche in no particular order.
No choice on the returns. The merchandise had been used, but not to the point of fighting over it. I'm sure they had a renovation project, came to Wal-Mart, bought tools and were now returning them.
Buttons, mash, TOTAL cash. $189.21.
"Here's your refund ma'am. Sign here please." I hope Code Enforcement nails you to the wall.