I've said it before and I'll say it again. A FLAT TIRE IS NOT A GOOD REASON TO RETURN A BICYCLE. Apparently, the idiots who purchase bicycles at the world's largest importer of cheap foreign-made disposable crap don't understand the simple fact that BICYCLES DO GET FLATS. DUH!
So this 300-pound man comes up to Customer Service rolling a bike with a flat back tire. I'm only shocked the bike wasn't totally destroyed. And he's only had it a day.
Dude, a flat tire IS NOT a defect. Where did you ride? What did you ride it over? Did you even bother to check that the proper pressure was in the tires? Were you riding on the sidewalk or trail riding? Did you ever stop to think that THIS WON'T BE THE FIRST FLAT TIRE? Nor the last? Dude, owning a bike is WORK. If you want to pack it in now, you need to just give it up and get a Segway.
Anyway. He wants to return it. I inform him of the impossibility of that situation. He escalates to aggression and turns red and a vein pops out on his forehead. Maybe the doctor told him to take up exercise. He certainly has blood pressure issues. Maybe a nice walking regimen would fit him better -- or skeet shooting.
I quietly repeat our policy. No returns on bicycles. Repair only. "What do you mean you won't take it back? I bought it and it's no good."
"No sir. It has a flat tire. Like I said, we'll fix that. But we're not taking it back."
"I want a manager. Right now." Like I said. Issues.
The manager comes up. Looks at the bike, and says "Looks like you've got a flat tire. We'll get that fixed for you. You want to have a seat?" He wheels the bike away and back to the assembly area before the irate fool even manages to start spouting. Classic.
Twenty minutes later, the guy has a working bike. He's really not happy about that, but he's got literally no ground to stand on. I can only assume that he was having second thoughts about purchasing a bicycle. The bike is rolling now. So he rolls too.