Saturday, April 14, 2007

I love the smell of sand in the morning

More old people. They must lie in wait for me. And then phone their friends to all grab their returns, pile into the Lincoln Continentals and flock to the Wal-Mart.

Now, the Wal-Mart I work at is apparently a magnet for old people who live half the time in Florida and half the time in a Yankee state. One of the results of this is that they're forever buying stuff at the START of their visit and then returning it at the END of their visit.

The same thing with the turistas. Swim trunks, footwear, children's beach toys, etc. It will go out the store on a Friday or Saturday or whatever day they arrive and come back on a Sunday -- battered and used and with the receipt crumpled and abused.

But the old folks are the worse. Tell your friends. Wal-Mart rents beach chairs now. I got four of them back tonight - with a receipt just two days shy of 90 days.

These two folks had no shame.

Grandma Thrifty had a nice pantsuit - white with some sort of floral design, a gold watch (looks to be a Rolex), rings (platinum, big diamonds), nice hat and sunglasses clipped into the neckline of the beige under-tunic. Grandpa Thrifty had on Dockers, a nice polo with a Charles Schwab logo and a matching Rolex and pinky ring. And yes, I know, appearances can be deceiving.

And they're pushing a cart with four beach chairs. Rusted, sandy (I love the smell of the ocean, don't you? - I just hate the sand on my counter), weathered so much the color of the canvas had faded and obviously used every day of those 88 days. I could practically smell the suntan oil, the old barbecue and the spilled Franzia.

I look at the chairs. I look at the couple. I look at the chairs. I ask for the receipt. Two days left to return the stuff. And you better believe they know it too.

I start pressing buttons. DEFECT SLIP, DEFECT SLIP, DEFECT SLIP, DEFECT SLIP.

And I ask the woman -- "Ma'am, what's wrong with these? I need to know so we can send them back to the manufacturer."

I get a hand wave and the dismissive response "Oh, they're just worn out. And we're going back home."

So I put "USED & RETURNED" on every one of those slips. What else was I going to put? And Grandma & Grandpa Thrifty rolled out of the Wal-Mart with $48 and change for those chairs that they essentially rented during their stay in the Florida sunshine.

14 comments:

Library Rat said...

LOL

"Used & Returned"

Pretty acurate description of those old folks... I just hope they aren't coming back to my Yankee state.

Addison said...

More proof that old people should be shot at the Florida state line. They do nothing but take up oxygen and buffet lines.

Anonymous said...

I don't think they rented the chairs unless WalMart actually retained any of the cash... Sounds like they used them for free.

Anonymous said...

I agree. they paid a deposit on the use of the chairs and received the full deposit back at the end of the use of the summer. I so wish we could tell people no once in a while.

MavenofMoxie said...

Wal-Mart must say that this is no longer acceptable. Utterly ridiculous that you had to accept that return.

People have no shame. I'd have been mortified even attempting such a stunt.

Gold & platinum? How tacky. Granny needs to watch Stacy & Clinton.

CoderForChrist said...

Wow....that's just...terrible. I agree, how can these people be so shameless?

And, why does the store allow these things to be returned?

Oh, well...at least they had a receipt...

Anonymous said...

That's how those folks got rich in the first place, and stay rich in their "golden years". Sheesh!!

Amanda said...

haha oh man. those people are the worst. the same thing happens in our store, with like.. trampolines, pools, and those plastic sleds. i think the ones that annoy me most are the heater returns. people buy them for the winter and then return them when it's not cold anymore.
they have no shame.

Tyler said...

Can you even call it renting? Heck, if they get all their money back at the end, it's pretty much just borrowing with a deposit.

Ridiculous.

Anonymous said...

y'all are pretty clearly about as smart as the average walmart shopper. the rent they paid was that they gave up the interest their money would have accrued were it sitting in a bank account.

its walmart's policy they're taking advantage of- if the policy fails to require more than buyers remorse, buyers remorse is a valid qualifier for a return.

FARfetched said...

Yeah, what everyone else said. Can't be a rental, they didn't actually pay anything for them.

As far as swimsuits go, I've seen signs saying swimsuits & underwear specifically can't be returned... but probably not at Walmart. A lot of other stores have a return policy that says the item must either be defective or in a condition where it can be resold — which would scotch (no pun intended) these scheming old farts and their shameless freebie-grabbing.

Anonymous said...

Wal-Mart should clamp down on their return policy. I wander why the stockholders permit such a liberal return policy.

Anonymous said...

Wal-mart seriously needs to improve their return policy. Its ridiculous. Before long we're going to have customers returning little piles of shit in ziploc bags demanding a refund on 2 applepies, a tv dinner, and a twix bar cause "it gave them heartburn and diarrhea." Just wait and see.

christine said...

Oh my god. That's as bad as the people that try to return children's shoes because they "fell apart" after 6 months of wear and the kid growing out of them. I can't even imagine considering something like that.