More old people. They must lie in wait for me. And then phone their friends to all grab their returns, pile into the Lincoln Continentals and flock to the Wal-Mart.
Now, the Wal-Mart I work at is apparently a magnet for old people who live half the time in Florida and half the time in a Yankee state. One of the results of this is that they're forever buying stuff at the START of their visit and then returning it at the END of their visit.
The same thing with the turistas. Swim trunks, footwear, children's beach toys, etc. It will go out the store on a Friday or Saturday or whatever day they arrive and come back on a Sunday -- battered and used and with the receipt crumpled and abused.
But the old folks are the worse. Tell your friends. Wal-Mart rents beach chairs now. I got four of them back tonight - with a receipt just two days shy of 90 days.
These two folks had no shame.
Grandma Thrifty had a nice pantsuit - white with some sort of floral design, a gold watch (looks to be a Rolex), rings (platinum, big diamonds), nice hat and sunglasses clipped into the neckline of the beige under-tunic. Grandpa Thrifty had on Dockers, a nice polo with a Charles Schwab logo and a matching Rolex and pinky ring. And yes, I know, appearances can be deceiving.
And they're pushing a cart with four beach chairs. Rusted, sandy (I love the smell of the ocean, don't you? - I just hate the sand on my counter), weathered so much the color of the canvas had faded and obviously used every day of those 88 days. I could practically smell the suntan oil, the old barbecue and the spilled Franzia.
I look at the chairs. I look at the couple. I look at the chairs. I ask for the receipt. Two days left to return the stuff. And you better believe they know it too.
I start pressing buttons. DEFECT SLIP, DEFECT SLIP, DEFECT SLIP, DEFECT SLIP.
And I ask the woman -- "Ma'am, what's wrong with these? I need to know so we can send them back to the manufacturer."
I get a hand wave and the dismissive response "Oh, they're just worn out. And we're going back home."
So I put "USED & RETURNED" on every one of those slips. What else was I going to put? And Grandma & Grandpa Thrifty rolled out of the Wal-Mart with $48 and change for those chairs that they essentially rented during their stay in the Florida sunshine.