For whatever reason, my Wal-Mart will not return bicycles anymore. We will repair them, but not return them. You buy it, it's yours. Really, you shouldn't be buying a bike at Wal-Mart anyway, but that's your business.
So this guy comes in last Thursday with a newish-looking bike and tells me he wants to return it. At first I thought he was an "Athletic Yuppie," but then I realized he was probably more of the "Pseudo-Sporting Trailer Trash" type, because Athletic Yuppies don't buy bicycles at Wal-Mart. Nor do they sport beat-up Adidas running shoes, knock-off Umbros and a size-too-small white Hanes T-shirt which didn't do anything to hide the gut that obviously gave lie to the fact that he DIDN'T ride that bike every day. Anyway.
This dude wants to return the bike because it "doesn't work." I inform him of our "Repair Only" policy and he starts getting agitated. Probably because the bike was stolen, because he didn't have a receipt -- which you know, normal people keep up with, especially if they've only had the thing for four days, as he claims. And another thing - if you bought it at a Wal-Mart 4o miles and six exits on the Interstate away, why are you trying to return it HERE? Scam-o-rama!
And then I get a rant about how Wal-Mart is losing its "customer service values" and how it doesn't appreciate its customers. My stock line is "I'm sorry sir."
And he goes "I don't think you're sorry at all." Which may be true. But it's not like I can tell him how I REALLY FEEL or call him on being an moron - or worse.
And then he demands a "receipt" for the bike repair. I tell him there is no "receipt" and that we'll call him when it is ready. "Well I want a receipt." And I go "I don't have a receipt to give you."
He leaves. I tape the ticket with his name and phone number on the bike and a description of the problem and wheel it over by the stamp machine.
And here's the kicker. I look up twenty-five customers and one hour later and the freaking bike is gone. GONE. No one knows where it is. I start asking around "Did you take that bike back to repair?" "Where is that blue and silver bike?" "Did you see a blue and silver men's bike?"
No one has seen anything.
So I figure someone saw a bike sitting around with a piece of paper on it and thought that paper was a reciept and rolled it right out the door. Any idiot (except the one that brought it in) can probably fix it and voila -- FREE BICYCLE!
I so don't want to be there when this man returns looking for that bike!