Thursday, October 05, 2006

A witch by any other name

Wal-Mart customers completely lose their heads once they come into the store. The only thing they seem to remember is that adage "the customer is always right." If I ever get my hands on the person that started that one ...

I had just gotten in to work on that evil 2-11 shift Sunday afternoon when I got one of those "women of a certain age." Am I like a magnet for them or something?

She's got this box for one of those animatronic cloth & light witches that you stand in your yard for Halloween.

Her opening line, before I can even get out a "Can I help you?" is "You don't have any more of these and I want one."

I check the computer and sure enough, we're out. The computer, because it IS linked to inventory, tells me that we're out in the store, there are no more in the warehouse and no more on order.

Worse, this isn't something that we are even GOING to order more of. Most of that Halloween decoration is like that. Each store gets a set amount of merchandise, based on what was sold and what was sent back last year, plus or minus projected sales. And no more.

I tell her this. She gets this frowny look, (but not quite, the Botox is still working), then goes "But everyone else on the block has one. I want one now." Not my problem.

But of course she makes it my problem. "Ma'am, is there a display of the item back there?" There's a display.

"Do you want to take that one?" She doesn't want the display. Not my problem.

But of course she makes it my problem. Her next shot? "Well, you need to start calling Wal-Marts until you find one, because I'm not leaving here without that witch." There's a witch involved, all right!

So I start calling. Of course, it takes forever for me to get help from other Wal-Marts on a Sunday afternoon. All six of the other stores in the county are out. I go further out of the area. I'm calling Wal-Marts an hour away when she finally slams her hands down on the counter and goes "I don't have time for this. I want a manager."

Um, are you crazy or just stupid? Do you think I'm not trying to help you? If one isn't available, we can't whip one up out of thin air.

A manager comes, checks the computer and tells her THE SAME THING I TOLD HER. She seems to take this information better from someone wearing a tie. Again, why would I lie to you? Do you not think I know you're going to try to do an end-run around me?

Anyway. He convinces her to take the display.

Then she asks "Can I get a discount on that?"


Alissa said...

Perhaps it's just me, but why on Earth would you want something that everyone else on your block has got????? What an incredibly copycat thing to do! Ever heard of originality?!?!?!?! Unbelievable.

Drew said...

Seriously, is there some way you can get a web cam pointed at your service desk? It would be the hottest thing on Youtube.

Anonymous said...

just try and become manager already !

Anonymous said...

Knowing how most of these things work.... Becoming a manager is probably the last thing she wants to do.

Rob the Webkahunah said...

I second Drew's comment... I would tune in to a "Wal-cam" religiously.

Of course, if it turned out you work at my local wal-mart, I would start showing up for the live show.

Marshy said...

Wal-cam for the win :)

Anonymous said...

As a past H3ll-Mart employee of almost 12 years, there is a trick to get around having to call every single store in the district or region. That trick is called Item Locator. It is in the 960/Telezon/Gemini & even SMART system if you have the options. It looks up the item by UPC or item #, in all stores up to 150 miles radius away from you, with your store as the center of the radius. It lists the closest stores first, and how many there are in each store's inventory lists on hand. But as being an past employee, do not believe inventory. I worked in 4 different stores in almost 12 years. None of the stores' inventory on hands were ever correct. So if Item locator says that a store has less than 4 or so, call that store to verify. By using Item Locator, it does cut down having to call every single store that is in our district and region, just seeing by the off change they have an unavailable but yet really wanted item.