The answer to all questions is "NO"

Can I return some clothes I bought in February? I lost the bag in the closet and just found it. "NO"

Can I exchange this video game? My kid opened it in the car and realized he didn't want it. "NO"

Can I just get a pack of cigarettes and check out somewhere else? "NO"

Why can't you open more registers? Do you want to check people out for $6.50?

ON THE PHONE: Can you give me a price check for the cheapest egg crates to go on a mattress? So we do it. Then, she wants a price check on ink cartridges. GET OFF THE FRELLING COUCH AND SHOP. So she gives me some spiel about "my first client is coming tomorrow." I really don't care. You're a lazy cow who deserves to die for torturing me AND implying that I was lying when I told you that we didn't carry your brand of ink cartridge.

And a woman lost her kid Saturday. And she was screaming "WHERE'S MY BABY?" Probably right where you left her while you were running around looking at the new clothes. Oh that was drama though. We had to shut the doors and I called the cops. By the time the cops came, we'd found the kid, but it was a bit scary there for a minute. You never know...